How do you process the death of someone?

Whenever it's someone I know I get numb in the moment but then I get sad later, when my dad passed I was like that, I didn't cry until later, when my grandparents die I was like that, I didn't cry or feel anything until later..
Just now my aunt passed and I'm feeling numb. I want to let go of something and my chest is feeling heavy but I can't cry.. I just can't.

if it's a sad story online I cry on the spot but not when I know the person on a personal level. I cry later
Why, I want to cry. I want to let go of this emotion.

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Cassieeee · 31-35, F

When my dad passed away I immediately broke down in the hospital and screamed - cried, then I went numb, then I went into work mode to fix his funeral the way I wanted it, at his funeral I read a letter, told people my condolences, made small talk, laughed, then I went numb again.. I never really got to grieve because my ex wouldn't let me, so I put on a show and just pushed it down. And every now and then it breaks me for a bit..

I don't really know how to cope with death, it doesn't make sense to me how someone can just be gone forever..

FlowerPetal · 22-25, F

@Cassieeee I'm so sorry with what you went through.. every person should grief at their own time.. I'm sorry your ex was like that . Well at least he's an ex now. x