Why do people put in the effort to be assholes?

It takes very little effort to be kind and compassionate, but people seem to lean into being mean. It is so sad. I’ve been on the receiving end of it in high school, as I’m sure many have, and have always tried to ‘kill them with kindness’ in return

Big hugs to ya!!

My mother and husband are both the sort who would always choose to make someone feel bad rather than good. Happiness is not something they feel easily or often. Vulnerability is scary to them, and being kind is, in a way, a vulnerability. I think that’s how they processed their growing pains when they were young. Do unto others before they do unto you. I’m sure there are as many reasons and lack of reasons as there are cruel people, but that is one perspective. The presence of cruelty teaches us compassion, holds up a mirror and gives us a choice. I think we can thank our lucky stars when it doesn’t make sense to us.

Some people are unhappy and take it out on others to make themselves feel better.

Misery loves company. So once they have misery, they want company? Maybe when they felt joy they should have looked at the company they had and said how they brought them company? There are many reasons why people make other's sad. 😢

Its sad.🙄😢

I don’t understand it. I currently have a guy at work that all he wants to do is be miserable. I just don’t ever want to be that kind of person.
I think these kind of people are fighting something that makes them so angry.

Effort? It's natural for me

I doubt they put effort in that

I thought that was called a spouse?

They are unhappy and taking it out on others.

People just don’t like seeing others doing better. If they’re below you they’ll try to drag you down

Its easier to make others feel bad than to make urself feel better?🤷‍♀️

My guess is they are miserable in some aspect of their life and need to take it out on others. A satisfied and happy person doesn't have time or reason for such BS.

Honestly, I think for many it's their default and little effort is required.

Probably they don't find it an effort to simply be themselves.

Yeah...you've discovered the raison d'etre of narcissism. If a narcissist feels insecure, the only way he or she can make themselves feel better is to put someone else down.

Did you just say "bad move" 😶

They are the worst people