People who consciously violate others’ boundaries deserve hell
I have a really big issue with people touching my shoulders or my upper back, it’s one of my PTSD triggers, and 80% of the time it’s the one thing that can send me into a full blown flashback. Because of this, it is something I make my circle readily aware of. Everyone knows that if my back is turned to them, and they are trying to get my attention, physical contact is not the best way to do it.
I have no issue with people physically reaching out as long as I can see them, as long as I am facing them, but I don’t have eyes in the back of my head, so I have no way of knowing who it is that is behind me, and even if it is for just a second, not knowing sends me into a blind panic. So much so that I begin to hallucinate smells, my knees get weak, my heart rate skyrockets, and a flashback ultimately creeps up on me. Yesterday, a “close friend,” and I say that in quotations because though we are in the same circle, though I see them everyday, they have disrespected me to the point in which I do not consider them a friend, jokingly grabbed me while I had my back to them, and pushed me so aggressively that half my body was launched forward from where I was sitting.
I immediately turned around, realized who it was, and begun yelling. I would not have had this reaction had it been the first time, second time, even third time it’s happened. But I have had to explain, basically BEG them to not ever do this countless of times, and it seemingly goes through one ear and out the other. I yelled, I was frantic, and yet they basically laughed in my face. I don’t know what about my demeanor or tone of voice signaled that I was joking, but I most certainly was not.
I have had to deal with this for a couple months now, and I have had a million private conversations with this individual, I have had to explain myself, which I shouldn’t have to do, and it’s genuinely demeaning. I don’t know who needs to hear this, but if a person expresses a very clear boundary to you, just respect it, it’s called not being an asshole.
I have no issue with people physically reaching out as long as I can see them, as long as I am facing them, but I don’t have eyes in the back of my head, so I have no way of knowing who it is that is behind me, and even if it is for just a second, not knowing sends me into a blind panic. So much so that I begin to hallucinate smells, my knees get weak, my heart rate skyrockets, and a flashback ultimately creeps up on me. Yesterday, a “close friend,” and I say that in quotations because though we are in the same circle, though I see them everyday, they have disrespected me to the point in which I do not consider them a friend, jokingly grabbed me while I had my back to them, and pushed me so aggressively that half my body was launched forward from where I was sitting.
I immediately turned around, realized who it was, and begun yelling. I would not have had this reaction had it been the first time, second time, even third time it’s happened. But I have had to explain, basically BEG them to not ever do this countless of times, and it seemingly goes through one ear and out the other. I yelled, I was frantic, and yet they basically laughed in my face. I don’t know what about my demeanor or tone of voice signaled that I was joking, but I most certainly was not.
I have had to deal with this for a couple months now, and I have had a million private conversations with this individual, I have had to explain myself, which I shouldn’t have to do, and it’s genuinely demeaning. I don’t know who needs to hear this, but if a person expresses a very clear boundary to you, just respect it, it’s called not being an asshole.
22-25, F
