Alternative universe

My father was an engineer in the Royal Navy. When I was 10 he left my mother for good. Because our parents had such an itinerant existence and my sisters and I spent most of our time at boarding school, we didn't really notice much difference. But I started writing to him every week and we cultivated a new relationship based on a surprising amount of common ground.

One thing he loved was finding alternative uses for everyday objects. It really appealed to his practical engineering nature and he challenged me to do the same.

These are my favourites, but as a teenager I never quite found the right moment to explain them to dad 😌

(1) A condom - for carrying water. Maximum capacity of two litres. On girl guide camp in 1998 our unit easily won a survival event thanks to my preparedness 👍 The legitimacy of this was subsequently challenged, but happily I was found to be right all along 🙂

NB not to be used as a makeshift shower by pricking a hole in the bottom. We tried that later in the week and it exploded all over the place 🤦‍♀️

(2) Scrunchies - these can be used as tourniquets or supports for broken arms. Seriously. My wife is a registered nurse and it's in one of her textbooks 👍

(3) Hair clips - in 2000 I picked a bathroom lock with my hair clip and rescued a year 3 girl who had locked herself in the toilet 🙇‍♀️

(4) Tights - our school minibus broke down on a trip but we were able to make it to a repair garage after our teacher made a temporary repair to a slipped drive belt using a pair of tights donated by the captain of the school hockey team 🚌

(5) Hair lacquer - commonly used in GCSE art class for 'fixing' pastel drawings. Or by female gymnasts for making sure their leotards stay in place 😅

I like to think that dad would have been proud of my ingenuity, but I'm probably kidding myself 😁


Please comment below if you can think of any unusual alternative uses for everyday household objects.