Is it wrong to have a base line expectation of people in your life to not take advantage of your kindness?
They say not to have any expectations of anyone so you don't get disappointed, but that's easier said than done.
46-50, F
PerfectionOfTheHeart · 46-50, F
Absolutely not.
There has to be a certain level of respect in any relationship, otherwise you’re just setting yourself up for a lot of headache and even further disappointment.
The main thing I had to learn was to say no. You have to not only do yourself the honor of saying no when something doesn’t sit right with you, but also disclose gently to that person why it doesn’t. People won’t bother adjusting their behavior unless you give them a reason to, something I failed to do for so many years.
There has to be a certain level of respect in any relationship, otherwise you’re just setting yourself up for a lot of headache and even further disappointment.
The main thing I had to learn was to say no. You have to not only do yourself the honor of saying no when something doesn’t sit right with you, but also disclose gently to that person why it doesn’t. People won’t bother adjusting their behavior unless you give them a reason to, something I failed to do for so many years.
FoxyQueen · 51-55, F
It is hard not to have expectations.
But it sounds more like you are talking about boundaries to keep you from being taken advantage of, which is absolutely something you should do.
Empathy without boundaries is self destruction. The takers will just keep taking, non stop.
If they get upset the kindness stops, that's on them. You keep to your boundaries.
But it sounds more like you are talking about boundaries to keep you from being taken advantage of, which is absolutely something you should do.
Empathy without boundaries is self destruction. The takers will just keep taking, non stop.
If they get upset the kindness stops, that's on them. You keep to your boundaries.
Justmeraeagain · 56-60, F
Some of the things people say make me wonder how miserable they really are.
I would say definitely don't have expectations on people you can't count on and don't put expectations on people you don't know very well.
No matter how hard we try we're going to have disappointments and people are going to disappoint us.
We can't always have our expectations met, but we do have a right to respect and if someone can't give that to you they are probably not the person to trust or to try to count on for anything.
I would say definitely don't have expectations on people you can't count on and don't put expectations on people you don't know very well.
No matter how hard we try we're going to have disappointments and people are going to disappoint us.
We can't always have our expectations met, but we do have a right to respect and if someone can't give that to you they are probably not the person to trust or to try to count on for anything.
BillyMack · 46-50, M
I agree with the others… it’s not wrong at all. The caveat is that people will disappoint you because they don’t match that baseline, but if that happens it happens.
Those who matter will rise above that expectation, or they’ll find themselves without you in it.
Hope that makes sense.
Those who matter will rise above that expectation, or they’ll find themselves without you in it.
Hope that makes sense.
smiler2012 · 61-69
@SlippingAway you not mind offer it out if it is taken advantage of or not that is human kindness . but you should also receive some kindness back off people too
urbancowboy · M
swirlie · 31-35
In other words, your acts of kindness all come with a set of conditions attached to each one of them.
Those conditions are, that people will not take advantage of your kindness.
If you did acts of kindness unconditionally, you would have no expectations of anyone. The problem isn't them, it's actually you.
Those conditions are, that people will not take advantage of your kindness.
If you did acts of kindness unconditionally, you would have no expectations of anyone. The problem isn't them, it's actually you.
JackDaniels · 46-50, M
DunningKruger · 61-69, M
SlippingAway · 46-50, F
@DunningKruger Yes or foolish I guess