Tim Walz Retiring To Spend More Time In Prison‬

Amid accusations connected to a massive fraud scandal, Minnesota Governor Tim Walz has announced he will not seek reelection.

Sources say the governor will now focus his attention on prison where it belongs.

"Yes, folks, I have decided to retire," said Walz, flanked by dozens of cheering Somali migrants. "I love being governor, but I need to spend more time on some other important priorities in my life. It has been an honor serving as your governor. Hadda waan tegayaa Dhamaantiin waxaan idin leeyahay sagootin aad u wanaagsan."

At publishing time, Walz had reportedly escaped the country and was headed to Somalia.

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Thinkerbell · 41-45, F

At publishing time, it was also learned that New York City Mayor Zohran Mamdani is furious at Walz's hasty departure. "It's simply outrageous that a good, honest and competent man like Governor Walz should have to flee the country. This is just another example of Trump's fascistic persecution of honest political leaders like President Maduro," fumed Mamdani, according to exclusive sources close to the matter.

Midlifemale · 61-69, M

@Thinkerbell Sometimes, it's like watching 'Saturday Night Live'....because we're all laughing at what the democrats are saying....just hilarious !!!!

Midlifemale · 61-69, M

That's funny...but true

TheOneyouwerewarnedabout · 46-50, MVIP

Geez. I just hope there’s tampons in there..

OriginalNedKelly · M

If he is sent to prison will they provide tampons for him

Thinkerbell · 41-45, F

@OriginalNedKelly

If they don't, it would be cruel and unusual punishment...

graphite · 61-69, M

@OriginalNedKelly He'll get a Democrat judge and a Democrat jury. Charges quickly dismissed.

graphite · 61-69, M

This is Minnesota. He'd have been easily re-elected in a landslide.

BizSuitStacy · M

Poor Tim. He thinks he's a victim of white supremacy.

But don't worry libs...he won't give up...

And this isn't gonna be swept under the rug.

Enjoy prison, Tim. The tampons are over in the corner by the shower where you like dropping the soap 🧼 🫧 🧼 🥒

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