“Buy (stocks) on rumor. Sell on fact?” An oft repeated aphorism. But traders did the opposite yesterday.

Photo above - Thumper says "Buy stocks now!" He is NOT a cast extra from "The Last of Us" (fungus zombie TV show). This is an actual rabbit infected with a virus. The virus did NOT come from a Chinese military lab.

If you believe the Wall Street pros, happy days are here again. The Dow and S&P 500 soared yesterday. Presumably because Grateful Fed-Head Powell will cut rates. Maybe next month. Maybe not (“This isn’t set in stone”, he said). How much will Powell cut rates? He didn’t say that either. Nothing is certain. BUY BUY BUY !!!

Or possibly this is an end-of-summer stock market rally, like the link below also postulates. And in fact, the markets did have a giant leap over a day or two last August, in 2024. The explanation THAT time was that Sleepy Joe was dropping out of the presidential race, and anointing Kamala Harris as the "can't lose" candidate. Sparing her the need to win in any primaries.

So yes, the market has a history of doing crazy upside stuff in August. And then giving it all back in September and October, which have average sell offs of 4% each month.

Stocks are now up 33% since Wall Street became convinced (in April) that Trumps tariffs would be the end of global prosperity as we know it. SOMEBODY lost a bundle during the panic selling in April. Probably not you or me. People with 401Ks and IRAs typically don’t use their retirement nest eggs for day-trading. And most of us probably weren’t driving yesterday’s rally either. We were either buying back to school clothes for our kids at Target or going to the beach for a last summer weekend.

I have a terrible track record at predicting what the stock market will do next. I have gazed on in fear as the national debt ballooned to $37 trillion. As Russia invaded Ukraine. As the USAF scrambled a $150 million F22 jet fighter to puncture a Chinese weather balloon that might have cost as much as a well-equipped Jeep Wrangler. And then the US president treated Chinese Prime Minister XI to a lavish supper in San Francisco. Don't ask - I can't explain this stuff either.

So I am not predicting another stock market crash next month, whether it’s due to tariff fears, Trump getting hoodwinked by Putin again, or the new virus causing Colorado rabbits to sprout horns and tentacles like something out of “The Last of Us”. But I’m also not buying stocks right now, or ordering rabbit meat from Amazon for my new kitten “Fang”.

Adopt a shelter cat or dog. Fang only cost $50. He came inoculated, chipped, and neutered. And don’t stress about the stock market. Over the long haul we're all dead anyway, and there's no heaven or hell.

I’m just sayin’ . . .

The stock market soared following Fed Chair Powell’s speech. Why it might just be a ‘late-summer rally.’