Democrats Declare Gerrymandering Bad Until They Need To Gerrymander Again

Congressional Democrats announced today that they are very much opposed to electoral gerrymandering up until the time when they will need to do it themselves, at which point they'll support it again.

"This is not a decision we make lightly, but it is one we make with absolute moral clarity," state legislatorGene Wu told reporters. "We strongly condemn these redistricting efforts until the time comes again when fellow democrats in other states need to gerrymander their own districts, and then at that point we will strongly support it."

Following Texas's new redistricting efforts, Democratic leaders in the state fled the legislative session in an attempt to delay and thwart what they believe to be a gross miscarriage of political power, at least until they can get away with it themselves, at which point they said they'll gladly support it.

"Sure, California, Illinois, and other deep blue states have been gerrymandering Republican voters out of power for decades, but this is bad because now Republicans are doing it, and we just hate it when they do stuff we've been doing forever," Wu said.

"NO CAP!" shouted Congresswoman Jasmine Crockett.

At publishing time, Texas Democrats announced that they will stay out of the state for as long as it takes to prevent the redistricting votes to take effect, or until they get bored and need to come home to water their plants.