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Furious Newsom Says He Won’t Stand Silently By While Trump Fixes California

As the federal government takes steps to attempt to solve a myriad of problems facing the Golden State, a furious Governor Gavin Newsom told reporters he won't stand silently by while Trump fixes California.

While the Trump administration continued to conduct deportation operations throughout California cities, and the Department of Education proposed a plan to prevent males from competing in K-12 girls' sports, Newsom pledged to do everything in his power to prevent Trump from solving any of California's severe issues.

"As long as I'm breathing, California will remain on the brink of destruction," an angry Newsom told the media. "I've worked too hard for too long to dismantle this state brick by brick, so I'm not just going to sit here while Donald Trump flushes it all down the toilet by fixing our problems. Californians have my word — I am just as firmly committed to wrecking this beautiful state as I was the day I took office."

The governor made it very clear that this struggle was an existential crisis for the state. "Make no mistake, this battle with Trump will decide California's fate," he said. "On one side, you have a brighter future, a chance to live a safe and happy life with your family, and affordable food, housing, and energy. On the other side, you have me. Which path will you choose, California? Stand by me, and I promise to finish the destructive job I started."

At publishing time, Newsom was unavailable for further comment as his entire staff had been deported.
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Thinkerbell · 41-45, F
At publishing time, word came from Nancy Pelosi: "We Democrats will fight to our last breath to preserve the way of life we have established in California, especially in San Francisco and L.A.," sources close to her office said.
Thinkerbell · 41-45, F
@PatKirby

They leave her alone.
She bribes them with hot stock tips.
PatKirby · M
@Thinkerbell

There was this day trader Pelosi
Of financial friends, she was so Nosey
Her secret Hero
Martha Stewart you Know
Laid the groundwork oh it seemed so Cozy!
Thinkerbell · 41-45, F
@PatKirby

The inveterate trader, old Nancy,
Said, "Folks, my success isn't fancy.
My singular guide
Is to trade from inside;
Neither magic nor black necromancy."
4meAndyou · F
Bee!!! 🤣🤣🤣
Bumbles · 51-55, M
Not quite The Onion.
PatKirby · M
Cali's little red wagon is broken and must be fixed. No worries, Trump will scour the newScum off the wheels and that should take care of things.
Thinkerbell · 41-45, F
@PatKirby

The French Laundry didn't work.
PatKirby · M
@Thinkerbell

Exactamúndo. I can attest that after living in LA, SF, San Diego, Sherman Oaks, Torrance, North Hollywood, etc... what Cali once offered in lavish abundance is now degraded, and decrepit due to rampant cultural negligence. There's something rotten in Cali!
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Carla · 61-69, F
@JSul3 it looked like they were storming (well...not storming, the horses were at a trot) the front lines.

 
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