Democrats Assure Americans The Millions In USAID They Gave Hamas Was Just For Gay Stuff

Amid the new heightened scrutiny on government spending, Democrats assured Americans that the millions of dollars in USAID funding that they gave to the terrorist group Hamas was only going toward promoting gay stuff.

"Yes, we know it looks bad giving millions of dollars to known terrorists with no accountability," said Senator Chris Van Hollen. "But we calculated that the risk involved in giving terrorists a bunch of cash was worth it if only it meant that one poor Palestinian kid might question their gender identity or sexuality someday."

"Everything we gave to Hamas was by the book," echoed Representative Ilhan Omar. "How could we possibly foresee the unintended consequences of sending large amounts of money to a terror organization and it ending up fueling more terror attacks? No one could have predicted that."

In the latest auditing of USAID dollars going to Gaza's ruling terrorist group and affiliated charities, analysts found a $1.3 million grant for a program called Destabilizing Cis-hetero Amatonormativity Through Interpretive Dance, as well as line items for direct shipments of large pallets of cash clearly marked ‘Please Use For Gay Training, Do Not Use For More Terror Attacks.'

At publishing time, USAID stated in its official press release that it was standard practice to give millions of dollars to all sorts of terror groups all over the world and that the money they gave to Hamas was in no way outside of organizational norms.