How are we going to convince him

Our oldest boy is going to have surgery on his left foot next week. It's going to fix some bone issues and once it's healed he'll be able to wear the Afo and it will correct his toe walking but the hard part will be making him understand he needs surgery to fix something that doesn't hurt him. He's so afraid of doctor's and hospitals as it is and now we to tell him about this. We're not sure how he's going to take this news.

This sweet boy of ours

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Heartlander

This reminds me of our son's experience when he was 3 or 4 years old, and when the sight of a smoke alarm frightened him. It was the era when smoke alarms first came into our collective awareness and they were heavily advertised on TV, with the TV commercials routinely showing images of houses on fire, along with an ominous voice warning of the risk and with images of smoke detectors.

His visual associations between fire and smoke detectors came to my awareness when I one day bought a smoke detector, brought it home and saw him visibly panic when I took it out of the bag.

Cigarguy · 41-45, C

@Heartlander he was in the hospital almost 2 years ago and we almost lost him to kidney diseases. So he is very scared every time he goes to the hospital and they are going to keep him.

Barefooter25 · 46-50, M

The thought of surgery, especially to a young boy, is rather scary. The best thing to tell him is that his foot will be better and it will not hurt not long after the surgery is done. Tell him, you, Joel and his family will all be there so he won't be so scared.

Cigarguy · 41-45, C

@Barefooter25 yes thank you for the advice

TheRealBarbossa · 36-40, T

It might not hurt atm, but it might in the future if he doesn't have the surgery now. And if he waits until it does hurt, it'll take even longer to heal, and might even have permanent damage done to his hips and spine.

Not to scare him, but it's the truth.

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Cigarguy · 41-45, C

@TheRealBarbossa we might bring it up in the family meeting on Sunday. That way he'll have the love and support of his whole family around when we talk to him about it to help him understand it better.

TheRealBarbossa · 36-40, T

@Cigarguy please let me know how it goes, and best of luck to everyone 💜

Cigarguy · 41-45, C

@TheRealBarbossa yes I will thank you for your kind words and suggestions, it means alot

4meAndyou · F

Remember that his fears and hurts are over with in his sweet adorable little mind once they are over. He doesn't dwell on things. Therefore he will have a short period of fear, and then a short period of recovering from surgical pain, and then he will forget all about it and be happy again.

I think YOU will probably suffer the most...because you worry and stress about things.

Cigarguy · 41-45, C

@4meAndyou who me no I'm cool as a peach.....

You are right I just don't like seeing any of our kids scared or sad. And I feel I need to fix this for him and I can't.

MarineBob · 61-69, M

Doctor said my procedure wouldn't hurt, but she screamed first

Cigarguy · 41-45, C

@MarineBob lol his foot doesn't hurt now that is part of the issue I'm trying to get him to understand why he's going to need surgery. I'm sure the surgery will hurt afterwards. So we have to tell him your foot doesn't hurt now but it's going to hurt afterwards but then in a little while it's going to feel better.

samueltyler2 · 80-89, M

How old is he? Many hospitals have programs to help children become prepared.

Cigarguy · 41-45, C

@samueltyler2 he is almost 10 but more on a 5 year old mental age

samueltyler2 · 80-89, M

@Cigarguy call and see if there is a "child life program" if so, their function is to prepare him in advance. They might take him for tours, do medical play, and provide him with "friends" among the staff.

Cigarguy · 41-45, C

@samueltyler2 thank you, I will look into that for sure. Thankfully this time we will be more prepared we had no idea he was as sick as he was when we took him to the hospital and they decided to keep him and he was there for a long time. This will be an outpatient procedure so that will be helpful too he'll get to come home and sleep in his own house

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