Do you ever think that maybe the reason you don’t completely open up to someone
And reveal the “real” you, is because deep down you know if you did, you wouldn’t be compatible?
Top | Newest First | Oldest First
@SooperSarah strange how others can see us quite differently than we do, and how our perception of ourselves isn’t what we are projecting to the world
@sspec I’m not a praying man, but if it give you the strength and courage you need, by all means
JustNik · 51-55, F
I’ve gotten to where I can’t seem to ignore the transience of people so I don’t share what I don’t want floating around out there in hands that don’t care about me. I will listen, support, be reliable and trustworthy, but I suppose on top of all my lack of entertainment value, my limits might also contribute to that transience. Compatibility is an odd thing for me. What are the requirements? I can get along with and even enjoy or adore a wide array of people I have nothing in common with. I’ve never actually authentically clicked or relaxed with anyone other than my daughters. I’m either compatible with most or none. 🤷♀️
CookieCrumbs · F
I don’t normally wonder about that. I always show my real self because I’d rather know early on if the other person would still like me with all my nice and not-so-nice side. It’s all a matter of preference and level of acceptance.
I do wonder what you wrote about in others, specially when I could tell they were hiding something, or holding back from being who they are.
I do wonder what you wrote about in others, specially when I could tell they were hiding something, or holding back from being who they are.
View 2 more replies »
@CookieCrumbs at some point, revealing the “new and improved” you may be too much for your partner, and it’s something they can’t unsee, so where do you go from there? Most I think, don’t want to entertain that scenario, and choose to remain who they are supposed to be
CookieCrumbs · F
@Ghostinthemachine
Would you choose the latter?
Would you choose the latter?
@CookieCrumbs I feel like I have, but also I feel I have been incrementally over time, been made to choose this path
FoolishLuna · 56-60, F
I think it takes life experiences to know yourself. Once I opened up to myself and truly loved me I found the most amazing man who knows me. All of me , the good , the bad and the ugly and he is my love, life and soulmate.
I think it’s worth the hurt to be who you are. If someone doesn’t like/love you for who you are it’s not someone I would want in my life.
I think it’s worth the hurt to be who you are. If someone doesn’t like/love you for who you are it’s not someone I would want in my life.
@FoolishLuna Yes, this!
It’s true, you have to love yourself before you can be loved by someone.
Once I became comfortable in my own skin, I didn’t take rejection so hard, I figured they were doing us both a favour :)
It’s true, you have to love yourself before you can be loved by someone.
Once I became comfortable in my own skin, I didn’t take rejection so hard, I figured they were doing us both a favour :)
Grateful4you · M
@Grateful4you do you find that you are?
bookerdana · M
@Grateful4you We're creative and convivial 🤣 as well as understanding..you make us sound like spineless jellyfish🤨
itsok · 31-35, F
Sometimes I wish people would hate me. I feel like I deserve it. But more than that, i feel like I have to shield myself because I don’t want to hurt people. Who I really am is someone who can cause a lot of pain, not on purpose. How are you supposed to love someone and know you’re hurting them at the same time?
@itsok why do you hurt the ones you love, if you know you’re doing this?
This comment is hidden.
Show Comment
@nightjourney you don’t want a guy that emphasizes the physical over the mental/emotional anyways
LadyBronte · 56-60, F
LadyBronte · 56-60, F
@Ghostinthemachine I was blindsided. He lied to me right up until the very last minute. And he was a tremendous liar. I have spoken recently to one person. Both if us suspect counseling might be necessary to find any peace and healing.
@LadyBronte I think you should give it a try, you have nothing to lose, as someone has already taken so much from you.
You have to start finding ways of taking your life back
You have to start finding ways of taking your life back
LadyBronte · 56-60, F
@Ghostinthemachine I think the first step is caring if you have life back or not.
JestAJester · 31-35, M
It's a matter of "what will they do with the information I give them?" Most don't stick around long enough where there is any point to opening up. Others, when you reveal yourself to them makes you appear weak or possibly deranged in their eyes.
You wanna know more about me? Don't jump off the ride halfway through
You wanna know more about me? Don't jump off the ride halfway through
@JestAJester I suppose we get snippets of information about people the more time we spend with them. Like a good novel, we have to stay engaged in order to want to turn the next page, if not we put the book back in the shelf and find another. But there is always someone else that may be willing to read to the end
JestAJester · 31-35, M
@Ghostinthemachine A human being is a unique set of pages for sure. It is not one book, but a collection of sorts. A series of short stories of varying lengths and genres. But you do not always get to choose which novel to read. Sometimes you may have to put one down and read another to understand the first novel. Some novels are better left unread until the end
@JestAJester I think, for the most part, we always get to choose. The decisions may be difficult, but the final choice rests with you
@SW-User that type of person isn’t worth allowing yourself to reveal the real you
@SW-User rejection is tough, and yes, it’s important to know yourself. And like who you are. That will form the basis for who will be good for you, thus reducing the chance of rejection. And even then, rejection can be seen as a favour, because the other person is obviously too blind to see what is good for them
SW-User
@Ghostinthemachine Yeah, but it's a process and sometimes our defense mechanisms love to trick us. 🙃
CrazyMusicLover · 31-35
@CrazyMusicLover at some point, do you trust enough to reveal more about yourself?
CrazyMusicLover · 31-35
@Ghostinthemachine Of course, when I find out they have no problem with certain things, I do.
@CrazyMusicLover it’s the only way to get close to someone
NewBeginnings7790 · 41-45, F
@NewBeginnings7790 I think it’s a rare thing. I look for evidence of it in other couples, I don’t see it often
NewBeginnings7790 · 41-45, F
@Ghostinthemachine It is a very rare thing. Most people go their entire lives never knowing or understanding what a true connection is.
@NewBeginnings7790 sad but true.
And then they wonder why they never did, choosing to find reasons and excuses, rather than being honest with themselves
And then they wonder why they never did, choosing to find reasons and excuses, rather than being honest with themselves
Iwillwait · M
@Ghostinthemachine Of course I do, I can reveal the "Real me," and watch them leave.
NeuroticByNature · 41-45, F
@NeuroticByNature I’m assuming you mean unliked by someone you love and respect
purplegold39 · 41-45, F
@purplegold39 then they are the wrong person to be with. What kind of person uses a persons flaws against someone they supposedly care about?
bijouxbroussard · F
@bijouxbroussard have you been in this situation before?
bijouxbroussard · F
@Ghostinthemachine Yes, although more with friends I admired. I tend to attract extroverts and I can fake gregariousness—just not for long.
@bijouxbroussard I get that. I can be an extrovert at times, and shy during others. Makes me wonder which is the true “me”
@V00doo as you should be
iamonfire696 · 41-45, F
I would rather prefer to do that so as not to waste time.
Show me the real you and I will do the same. If you don’t want me at your worst you don’t deserve me at my best.
I am and open, understanding, caring, empathetic, intelligent and a loving person. If someone is hiding their true selves from me then just say it.
You should do that and let this person off the hook if you don’t actually think you are compatible.
Just my 2 cents, take it or leave it 🤷🏼♀️
Show me the real you and I will do the same. If you don’t want me at your worst you don’t deserve me at my best.
I am and open, understanding, caring, empathetic, intelligent and a loving person. If someone is hiding their true selves from me then just say it.
You should do that and let this person off the hook if you don’t actually think you are compatible.
Just my 2 cents, take it or leave it 🤷🏼♀️
@iamonfire696 I agree, but what do you do when this incompatibility develops over time, that you evolve and change separately, but perhaps you’re the only one who realizes this?
This comment is hidden.
Show Comment