Do you ever think that maybe the reason you don’t completely open up to someone
And reveal the “real” you, is because deep down you know if you did, you wouldn’t be compatible?
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CookieCrumbs · F
I don’t normally wonder about that. I always show my real self because I’d rather know early on if the other person would still like me with all my nice and not-so-nice side. It’s all a matter of preference and level of acceptance.
I do wonder what you wrote about in others, specially when I could tell they were hiding something, or holding back from being who they are.
I do wonder what you wrote about in others, specially when I could tell they were hiding something, or holding back from being who they are.
@CookieCrumbs For me, initially I am always myself when I meet people, because as you said, it’s a built in filtering process, to weed out those you aren’t compatible with, either as friends or lovers. I was thinking more further along, while in a relationship, if we tend to default to who we are expected to be or once we’re, as opposed to the person we have changed and evolved in to
CookieCrumbs · F
@Ghostinthemachine
Ahh so this is the real question:
[quote]if we tend to default to who we are expected to be or once we’re, as opposed to the person we have changed and evolved in to
[/quote]
I think this would depend on the level of trust in the relationship.
If you have a trusting relationship where you know you could express your “evolving self” with your partner, then you’d explore this.
But if you know it would disrupt the relationship, or you assume your partner would not like the new you, then maybe you’d tend to hold back becoming that person.
Ahh so this is the real question:
[quote]if we tend to default to who we are expected to be or once we’re, as opposed to the person we have changed and evolved in to
[/quote]
I think this would depend on the level of trust in the relationship.
If you have a trusting relationship where you know you could express your “evolving self” with your partner, then you’d explore this.
But if you know it would disrupt the relationship, or you assume your partner would not like the new you, then maybe you’d tend to hold back becoming that person.
@CookieCrumbs at some point, revealing the “new and improved” you may be too much for your partner, and it’s something they can’t unsee, so where do you go from there? Most I think, don’t want to entertain that scenario, and choose to remain who they are supposed to be
CookieCrumbs · F
@Ghostinthemachine
Would you choose the latter?
Would you choose the latter?
@CookieCrumbs I feel like I have, but also I feel I have been incrementally over time, been made to choose this path
