IF YOU DON'T BRAG FOR 5 FULL SENTENCES ABOUT SOMETHING YOU ARE PROUD OF, RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!
😤😡😠🤬👿
41-45, F
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Straylight · 31-35, F
You started with If. What happens if I don’t?
foldedunfolding · 41-45, F
@Straylight ohh you finna SEE
Straylight · 31-35, F
@foldedunfolding Ok, something I’m proud of, five sentences. I’m a to the point person, but maybe I can drag it out.
*Trigger warning for sexual assault*
So not to bring down the positive vibe you’re building, buuut… when I was 18 I was violently raped by a guy who I thought was a friend. I know all sexual assault is violence in some way, but let’s put an emphasis on violently. I was punched, kicked, and cut with a hunting knife until he was sure I wouldn’t resist.
And after that I was scared to say anything. I was broken and humiliated and I was just letting the wounds silently fester until a failed suicide attempt brought it all to light. And I’m one of the lucky ones in this case because charges were brought up and he was actually convicted of aggravated rape and got ten years. So then came trying to heal, but I was a full on man hater at that point. Any male that was not a blood relative was the enemy. If you ever saw me on EP, I was pretty mean to anyone with an M by their name. On top of that, I had a literal bullet I’d carved the guys name on. I had every intention of killing him when he got out.
Pretty grim so far, but we’re getting to the good part. I had a ton of support from my family and friends and also saw a therapist regularly. It took time to open up and examine the part of me I was trying to keep from being hurt again, but I was able to realize I didn’t hate men, I hated that man. And holding that hate wasn’t protecting me from him and people like him, it was just making me miserable. So with some work I became more or less normal again. I can’t say in the same as I was before, that will never happen. But I’ve got healthy friendships with men again and I’m no longer plotting to shoot my attacker. I haven’t forgiven him, but he no longer lives in my head and doesn’t make me boil with rage.
So TLDR; I was broken and full of spite and despair, but I’ve managed to get my life back.
*Trigger warning for sexual assault*
So not to bring down the positive vibe you’re building, buuut… when I was 18 I was violently raped by a guy who I thought was a friend. I know all sexual assault is violence in some way, but let’s put an emphasis on violently. I was punched, kicked, and cut with a hunting knife until he was sure I wouldn’t resist.
And after that I was scared to say anything. I was broken and humiliated and I was just letting the wounds silently fester until a failed suicide attempt brought it all to light. And I’m one of the lucky ones in this case because charges were brought up and he was actually convicted of aggravated rape and got ten years. So then came trying to heal, but I was a full on man hater at that point. Any male that was not a blood relative was the enemy. If you ever saw me on EP, I was pretty mean to anyone with an M by their name. On top of that, I had a literal bullet I’d carved the guys name on. I had every intention of killing him when he got out.
Pretty grim so far, but we’re getting to the good part. I had a ton of support from my family and friends and also saw a therapist regularly. It took time to open up and examine the part of me I was trying to keep from being hurt again, but I was able to realize I didn’t hate men, I hated that man. And holding that hate wasn’t protecting me from him and people like him, it was just making me miserable. So with some work I became more or less normal again. I can’t say in the same as I was before, that will never happen. But I’ve got healthy friendships with men again and I’m no longer plotting to shoot my attacker. I haven’t forgiven him, but he no longer lives in my head and doesn’t make me boil with rage.
So TLDR; I was broken and full of spite and despair, but I’ve managed to get my life back.
foldedunfolding · 41-45, F
@Straylight ok..FUCK to the YES, sister!!!!!!! that was sooo worth the read. I am SO proud of you. I was a virgin, saving myself for marriage..got to 22..which is HARD TO DO, and i was raped. my mom said i "spread my legs" and kicked me out to be homeless. i was later sexually assaulted by 2 other men..so i get this in my SOUL. i am 40 and just now trying therapy again..wish me luck!
Straylight · 31-35, F
@foldedunfolding It so worth it to get professional help. It’s not always easy, but it’s worth it.
And wow, compassion from mom! I was fortunate that I had my family to help me through it. But yeah, it’s a dehumanizing experience that stains you and changes you. But you don’t have to change for the worse. You can be better. 🤗
And wow, compassion from mom! I was fortunate that I had my family to help me through it. But yeah, it’s a dehumanizing experience that stains you and changes you. But you don’t have to change for the worse. You can be better. 🤗
@Straylight
God I’m so sorry to hear that this happened to you, it’s horrible and inexcusable, ten years isn’t nearly enough.
I’m sorry but I’m also glad that you found a way to move forward with your life unlike so many others who experience this kind of trauma. 🥺
I respect you enormously for your courage in sharing this with all of us.
You’re an inspiration and an exceptional woman and I hope you continue to find a better life every single day.
You deserve so much care and happiness.
I hope you’re never at a loss for finding love in your life.
🤗
God I’m so sorry to hear that this happened to you, it’s horrible and inexcusable, ten years isn’t nearly enough.
I’m sorry but I’m also glad that you found a way to move forward with your life unlike so many others who experience this kind of trauma. 🥺
I respect you enormously for your courage in sharing this with all of us.
You’re an inspiration and an exceptional woman and I hope you continue to find a better life every single day.
You deserve so much care and happiness.
I hope you’re never at a loss for finding love in your life.
🤗
@foldedunfolding
I’m sorry that you went through such a horrible situation and I hope you can find the peace and happiness you deserve after so long.
🤗🤗
I’m sorry that you went through such a horrible situation and I hope you can find the peace and happiness you deserve after so long.
🤗🤗
foldedunfolding · 41-45, F
@Onestarlitnight aw thank you love..i am trying my heart out 🥺🥺🥺