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By appointment

Our old dog Bella said goodbye to rather emergently. We knew her time was coming, but we got up that morning like usual, went about our day like usual, and then her time popped up in front of us like an unexpected guest and there it was. The end. We came home blindsided and the house felt surreal. The bottom three feet of every room where something large and furry had roamed felt echoey and empty, but my eyes kept scanning it anyway. Those three feet were eventually occupied by another large and furry creature and the house felt normal again. But his time has come. It hasn’t been long and drawn out and horrible. It has been a month. A steady slide downhill. A diagnosis. The one option of a drug that in best case scenario might have bought us a couple more months, if only he had tolerated it. I made an appointment. Today at 5. I did not get up today like usual. I do not expect the day to end like usual. I know the emptiness that’s coming. I know the wide yawn of time that will greet me tonight, tomorrow, the day after…all that time that has been his for so many years. It is bizarre to know the time at which life will change. To look at him and know I won’t be able to tomorrow. I want to find reasons to cancel, but I look at him and know. It is my pain tomorrow or it is his. The last way I can love him is to choose mine. It was easier being blindsided I think. Somehow being on a schedule somewhere makes it too organized, too objective. Discordant with how it feels. The longest and shortest day, by appointment. Just bizarre.
Pinkstarburst · 51-55, F
There is never in a million years the right moment for our hearts to say goodbye. Mine is breaking with yours today Nik. Spend this day wrapping him in your love as he wraps you in his. The greatest and most painful gift is the voice we are blessed to give to our beloved best friend.

Ben will greet him tonight and show him the best fields to run, the hidden dog treat flowers, the refreshing ponds, the perfect shade trees, and the best window to watch over you forever.

You and Bella have my heart.
JustNik · 51-55, F
Thank you all. 💞
exexec · 61-69, C
I am so sorry for your loss. It hurts so much every time we say goodbye to a loyal, loving friend. Those are always the saddest days of my life.
Listen, you love him so much. He is your family. And he depends upon you to take great care of him. He is ready. Look into his eyes. Tell him how much he has enriched your life. Dogs have a vocabulary of about 150 words. They are so smart. He understands how hard this is for you. It is easier for him as he needs peace. I hear you, Nik. Just love him. Tell him. Show him. And tomorrow take him with all your love to his next journey. Take your time to grieve. And send him off with words of love in his ears. Hearing is the last sense to go. Geez. It is so hard. I am tearing up. Bless you and him, both.
Matt85 · 36-40, M
I'm sorry for your loss. It's never easy.🫂
Degbeme · 70-79, M
My thoughts go out to you and the family. It`s never easy. 🥺❤
Magenta · F
Oh my. My heart hurts. 😢😢
*comforting hug*
Plasticbag · 100+, M
I’m so sorry Nik lots of love 💜
Lilymoon · F
Hugs to you and sorry for your loss 😞
I’m so very sorry that you have to go through this very difficult and complicated time … mixed feelings, confusion, pain, guilt feeling and yet you know that’s the best decision you can make to help him …

Hugs beautiful … he’ll be in a better place .. 🥰❤️
Im sorry, Nik. that is a terrible feeling. (((hugs))))
DrWatson · 70-79, M
I am so sorry for what is happening today.

My feeble attempt to see a positive side to "by appointment" is that unlike being blindsided, you can cherish the remaining hours together as a special time, even a sacred time.
Orca4950 · 70-79, M
Very similar to how I felt when I/we had to put our sheltie last October.

The pain eased off her face as the drug took over.

Thoughts are with you
I’m so sorry, my friend. 🥺

 
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