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CrazyMusicLover · 31-35
I say, if someone needs to constantly complain about someone else and it's always a different person, chances are the problem is in them, not everyone around them.
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SW-User
@CrazyMusicLover exactly. And often they are oblivious to their actions in it
summersong · F
Playing the victim garners more sympathy and attention. It’s not about trying to change things or improve one’s situation, it’s about making oneself feel better by tearing other people down and often getting others to join in on it, then crying about how unfairly you’re being treated when someone calls you on it. It’s toxic af.
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SW-User
@summersong yes. People don't care to really know the truth. They will just join in on the wild savage hunt and sometimes its because they feel like saviours and other times it's because they are sadistic.
Magenta · F
@summersong @SW-User Smart ladies.
People tend to easily forget, there is always another version of circumstances/situations. The other side of it.
People tend to easily forget, there is always another version of circumstances/situations. The other side of it.
Rokasu · 36-40, M
How you gonna call me out publicly like this?
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SW-User
@Rokasu depression seems to be a current pandemic.
Well. I could say a lot but maybe some other time. I know that a lot of things I say might not be received...and I can only make such posts once in a while. 😂 It takes too much energy.
Well. I could say a lot but maybe some other time. I know that a lot of things I say might not be received...and I can only make such posts once in a while. 😂 It takes too much energy.
Rokasu · 36-40, M
@SW-User I probably agree with you on whatever you had to say.
I was a little shocked you made this post honestly. From a PR perspective and an expectation perspective. Most of the folks here are hypocrites, myself included. You kicked the hive to be stung by lies.
I was a little shocked you made this post honestly. From a PR perspective and an expectation perspective. Most of the folks here are hypocrites, myself included. You kicked the hive to be stung by lies.
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SW-User
@Rokasu this is how I make enemies. 🙃
bookerdana · M
Fair enough but what about victims pf concentration camps ,horrible sexual abuse and wartime atrocities?? They didn't need the term PTSD to know the soul can be scarred to the core......I am not referring to myself just to be clear but living life after such an event takes a super huuman amount of guts and understanding
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SW-User
@bookerdana Aye! Succinctly put. 😂
bookerdana · M
@SW-User Theres a meme for everything!
Fairydust · F
💯 as much as my ex was toxic, I take full responsibility for my faults, I’ve looked really deep within and see where I went wrong and that was my decision too.
Unlearn · 41-45, M
I think everyone past 20 years of age should do it...I mean it's easier to tolerate dramatic teens but it's quite another thing to see a fully grown adult do it. I keep my distance from such people, but it becomes difficult when it's someone close, whose well-being I care about.
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SW-User
@Unlearn Family is definitely tricky. But with anyone else, I don't indulge or enable it. I disengage and walk away. I often get called self centered because I did not indulge their tantrum. 😂
Unlearn · 41-45, M
@SW-User If it's not family, I don't even give it a second thought. I get called self centred too and I honestly am self centred. My wellbeing is more important to me...
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SW-User
@Unlearn Me too. ❤️
ABCDEF7 · M
The real solution lies in finding out what and how you can improve the things in your life rather than wasting you time & energies blaming things on external factors, and making yourself satisfied with the excuses.
I am not against putting your voice for whatever wrong happened to you, but you should not be giving this much importance than working towards the solution at your end.
I am not against putting your voice for whatever wrong happened to you, but you should not be giving this much importance than working towards the solution at your end.
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SW-User
@ABCDEF7 agree
Some of us intuitively know this while others fail to see this perspective...but I agree in it's destructive nature. It's sad to see them self destruct on purpose no mater how much you wish to help. I read one time you can enlighten those they must find their own path... When there's nothing I can help with hope they find a better path. This makes me think of life's diversity and why some of us are more intune than others.
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SW-User
@SW-User
If you werent critical of others how would you even know your own faults?
That would be the awareness in yourself that would eventually hold you back from pointing fingers at someone and looking inwards reflecting on why that criticism of someone else is coming up.
Freeranger · M
While it seems to be attributed to ancient Greece, the term "know thyself" seems to resonate here regarding the question.
I'm not one for self-aggrandizement, and those little voices who creep out on either shoulder keep me honest about myself.
I'm not one for self-aggrandizement, and those little voices who creep out on either shoulder keep me honest about myself.
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SW-User
@Freeranger It is very much 'know thyself' that is behind this post. Awareness is important to even know those voices exist and then it takes some form of regulation in ourselves to pay attention to what it is saying.
Freeranger · M
@SW-User I actually experience periods of success with that......I do.😏
Whodunnit · M
Modern society in a nutshell.
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SW-User
@Whodunnit Yes. I have been there too and now whenever I begin to do it, I realise what I am doing because I'm now aware of that pattern.
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SW-User
I agree with you on that. People need to concentrate on understanding themselves and look for ways to improve instead of focusing on others. They will just continue to be miserable if they keep blaming others.
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SW-User
@SW-User there are some who just enjoy the drama it creates that puts them in the center of the storm so to speak. As long as other people keep enabling that behaviour they won't stop because there is no reason to stop. And somehow people like these always find enablers. Some new unsuspecting kindheart until they are also at the end of that blame stick.
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SW-User
There are parts of you that must die. They may have been good for a time to protect you as a child without guidance, but as an adult you must cull the parts that no longer serve you and only keep you anchored to the the past.
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SW-User
@SW-User Indeed.
antonioioio · 70-79, M
I look at life as simple as I can make it
Theirs no such person as a stupid person Every one has a gift and if you critisize you will never find it and if theirs something wrong in your life, the first port of call is one self
Theirs no such person as a stupid person Every one has a gift and if you critisize you will never find it and if theirs something wrong in your life, the first port of call is one self
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SW-User
@antonioioio so true
AngelKrish · 26-30, M
I am not here to blame others....but yes who do back stab on the name of friendship are reason i don't trust anyone now..
AngelKrish · 26-30, M
@SW-User People actually lie so much on online sites ...
There is no limits or any moral they feel in their soul! Lol
There is no limits or any moral they feel in their soul! Lol
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SW-User
@AngelKrish I know. It's why I prefer to keep disengaged from 'relations'.
AngelKrish · 26-30, M
@SW-User but i also found true friends online...from EP.
Good people do exist so i am here!
Good people do exist so i am here!
fakable · T
it's a long, hard road to look inside yourself. you shouldn't do that. there's nothing there.
not everyone who has gone that way has the strength to turn around and go back.
not everyone who has gone that way has the strength to turn around and go back.
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SW-User
@fakable it is a long hard road. But worth it.
Coppercoil · M
I agree. Seeing ourselves as we truly are.. not in a negative or positive light.. but just as we really are.. is one of the greatest spiritual challenges for growth anyone can undergo.
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SW-User
@Coppercoil well said.
Torsten · 36-40, M
faulting others, does not make one a victim
Torsten · 36-40, M
@SW-User I think you can put blame on yourself for allowing others to take advantage or cause harm to you for sure and you can learn from that and make sure you dont ever put people in a position to ever do that to you again. But first you need to see the fault of others to get to that point
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SW-User
@Torsten I agree with that. Seeing something in others that we find a fault is always a reflection of something in ourselves.
Torsten · 36-40, M
@SW-User exactly
plungesponge · 41-45, M
I think I was lucky in some ways, being around complete narcissists I got to see being a victim gets no sympathy, so I just defaulted into being a survivor
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SW-User
@plungesponge yeah. Hard choices.
antonioioio · 70-79, M
I learned that a long time ago
If their's something wrong in your life
The first port of call is one self ❤️
If their's something wrong in your life
The first port of call is one self ❤️
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SW-User
@antonioioio I am learning and once you see it you cannot unsee it.
alan20 · M
There's a great deal in that.
alan20 · M
@SW-User Since responding I happened to have a long chat over dinner with my brother and sister. Our conclusions about our parents are remarkably similar. We all suffered from our mother's extreme selfishness, constant need for attention and wanting to fulfil herself through her children whom she couldn't see as having rights of their own; her giving birth to us seemed to her to make us part of her. I learned many things I wouldn't repeat here. My brother has concluded that one of her problems was intellectual snobbery, i.e. she and her children were deemed superior to almost all others :- it wouldn't have mattered who any of us fell in love with as they couldn't have been worthy, and she backed up her appalling views by a blatantly hypocritical use of religion; there were always plenty of Catholic priests who subscribed to her views. I think nobody can get completely emancipated from such a extreme and perverted view but it's important to keep trying and looking for symptoms of the disease in myself. At least I've never struck my son and never would! I don't in any way want to embarrass you but it is a help finding someone with at least an open mind and possibly a degree of empathy, like yourself.
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SW-User
@alan20 You don't embarrass me at all and I am sure sharing that must have been difficult for you. Thank you for sharing that. I have understood a lot about you with this.
alan20 · M
@SW-User Thank you. ❤️
I hardly get time to look around coz focus is always within.
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SW-User
@sspec That is wise.
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SW-User
So true, owning up is the first step in any sort of growth
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SW-User
@SW-User Agree. All criticising other people does is hide our own flaws.
Magenta · F
Spot on. Victim mentality seems more rampant than ever.
https://similarworlds.com/self-improve/4399720-Look-within-more-often-may-actually-learn
https://similarworlds.com/self-improve/4399720-Look-within-more-often-may-actually-learn
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SW-User
@Magenta great minds. Lol
nevergiveup · M
very true. A lot of people on here should do this
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SW-User
@nevergiveup Some people have taken it up as a hobby on here, yes.
nevergiveup · M
@SW-User they are called trolls and i have met to many on here over the years
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SW-User
I'm trying. Still fail quite often but I'm trying.
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SW-User
@SW-User I still fail sometimes but now I catch myself faster when I slide. Trying is good.
btchstfu · F
i was born ready
Justenjoyit · 56-60, M
We all need to give and take criticism it keeps us all in check
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SW-User
@Justenjoyit It's got to be productive and healthy criticism to lift someone, not so it appeases the ego in the moment. 😂
Justenjoyit · 56-60, M
@SW-User Obviously constructive criticism lol
ButterRobot · 51-55, M
Ouch
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SW-User
@ButterRobot Truth is always an ouchie. 😂
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SW-User
Are you criticising critical people? 🤔
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SW-User
@SW-User No. I'm bringing awareness to their Victim addiction.
JohnOinger · 41-45, M
So what do you think of Liam Neeson & Would You Do Him
iamonfire696 · 41-45, F
Criticising others is simply a way to avoid looking at the flaws in oneself.
I see this here a lot. People picking on others for things they do themselves
iamonfire696 · 41-45, F
@SW-User It’s very immature behaviour.
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SW-User
@iamonfire696 it is for sure. But also an obstacle for one's own development.
iamonfire696 · 41-45, F
@SW-User I believe that as well. There’s no growth if you can’t apologize, self reflect and move on.
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SW-User
The stories we tell ourselves create our reality
We need to be very careful what stories we choose to tell
Love your post <3
We need to be very careful what stories we choose to tell
Love your post <3
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SW-User
@Unlearn Okay. Thank you. I'm definitely going to look into this more because I want it. 🙃🙏
Unlearn · 41-45, M
@SW-User You're doing well. I have seen you progress over the years. That's why I like talking to you...just don't try to force anything. It will happen naturally. It's important to be patient.
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SW-User
@Unlearn Thank you. This means a lot to me.
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SW-User
I am sending my mother in law this rn🤣
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SW-User
@SW-User LOL, I'd be curious to see how she reacts.😂
BigGuy2 · 26-30, M
Can you tell this to Liberals
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SW-User
@BigGuy2 this is applicable to all humans.
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