I don't have enough money to see a psychologist, And it's hard to get a second opinion on some incidents that happen to me.

Sure, those incidents still haunt me, but I wonder if they had any meaning. some sort of fulfilling-prophecy,

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There are plenty of videos on YouTube, posted by therapist, that might address what you are going through?
I don't know of anyone here that is trained to be a therapist although there might be?
And I'm really not sure what kind of advice you'd get here?