Don’t be afraid to be disliked.

You are responsible only for your own tasks in life. The infringement on other people’s tasks, or the infringement of your tasks by them is the cause of all interpersonal relationship problems.

You connect with someone when two people can take care of their own tasks independently and share that with each other. Entanglement is when two people try to impose their will on each other’s tasks instead of taking responsibility for their own. That causes every problem you’ll ever have with others.

What other people think about you. The judgments or conclusions they draw. However they treat you. These are not your tasks. That’s on them and their problem entirely. There is no benefit, actually there’s only detriment, to worrying about other peoples tasks. To do so is to invite every conceivable misfortune upon your relationships.

So again, don’t be afraid to be disliked. If you’re focused on your own tasks, that’s not your fault. However, if you are scared of being disliked, that is what makes you concern yourself with others tasks and your fears become a self fulfilling prophecy. You will be guilty for your own condition.

novaguy2u · 70-79, M

I was a detachment commander and later platoon sergeant in the Army. In a position like that, you have to be prepared to be disliked. I overcame it by leading by example, doing as well as telling.

Reject · 26-30, M

@novaguy2u What you say is interesting because sometimes it is our task to interfere with others. Your position in the army, raising children, or caring for the elderly to name a few. There’s many situations in which will has to be imposed on someone. What’s important there though is doing so not because you’re afraid of something, but because you’re caring for something.

FreddieUK · 70-79, M

I am very happy to support the premise that sometimes it's good to take no notice of whether you're liked or disliked. If you have a position of responsibility, sometimes being disliked goes with the territory.

However, my understanding of a relationship is that it involves give and take, understanding the 'other' and learning empathy. Otherwise we are merely a group of individuals with nothing to link us except transactional encounters. It might be easier to live like that for some, but generally, we like being accepted and we enjoy those irrational relationships tied up with the word 'love' in all its facets.

Rejection is painful, let's not pretend it's not. However, learning how to manage it is a skill and sometimes it can be right to try to ignore it. On the other hand, if you actually care about a relationship you may want to try to discover how to return retrieve it.