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I haven't stopped caring; I've stopped pretending I care

I've never really been a people person. I find most people to be exhausting, more mentally than physically. Plus, I just don't form attachment to people the way that most others do. I'm simply not wired that way.

I am married with 4 kids.........I love my wife and kids, don't get me wrong. I talk to my brother a couple times a week, I enjoy that. But, beyond that I just don't care. As I'm getting older, I'm noticing that my tolerance for pretending to care is wearing very thin. To the point where I'm done pretending. Here's an example...........Over the weekend I was on the phone with my 93-year-old mother, who is bat shit crazy and always has been. She found it necessary to tell me that a former employer of mine had died. To be honest I thought he was considerably older than he apparently was and I had always just assumed he would have been dead by now anyway. In any case, I couldn't stand this guy and haven't seen him in over 30 years. Long story short, I said to my mother "why would I care?". Honestly why would I? It started this huge argument, and I just got annoyed and hung up the phone.

That's just one example, but lately there have been more and more times that I just have stopped pretending I give a shit and just have to tell people......I just don't care.
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LadyBronte · 61-69, F
Your mother is most likely trying to connect on a basic level to still feel relevant in your life. In my experience, mothers, decent ones anyway - batshit crazy or not - still need to know their kids care - that never goes away. So telling you things she believes you might be interested in, irrelevant to you or not, is her way of trying to find a way to still fit somewhere in your life. We all go through that to some extent with our parents - repetitive stories, irrelevant subjects, recounting tiring sagas from long ago. It's how life is. Not caring is one thing, being rude is another. Why not just shake your head, say thanks, I didn't know that, but I always thought he was an ass anyway and move on. Everyone's needs met. Your mother's to have a conversation with you, yours to honestly and tactfully say you didn't give a shit. No need to argue, or bicker, and ruin your moods over things that don't matter anyway. 🤷🏼‍♀. Just my thought.
PatKirby · M
@LadyBronte

This is so true. Well said.