How do you work out your sexuality and sexual preferences as a mature adult who's really confused by it all?

Let's get something 'straight' here. I don't 'need' sex. I want it, but I don't need it. Therefore I have no intention of 'bi-ing' sex (from a sex worker aka prostitute).

Re the suggestion of H.E massages I wouldn't even know where to find such services. I can't ask anyone to help as I don't have a friend group and would be too embarassed to talk about it if I did. They must exist as there is plenty of coverage of such in the porn space.

I've always wanted to find a couple (m/f) to become very good friends with and share intimacy with, but that's so far out of reality it's not something I could see as ever happening. I don't know any couples so that's a rather fundamental flaw.

I want to be understanding of your lifelong confusion/frustration but it seems the only way out is rather simple from my perspective and would be more productive than the rabbit hole you're currently going down. What I am about to say is intended to be helpful and it's not spit-out words and ignore my advice.

Here are my observations and suggestions

I would forget the long list of terms and focus on discovering if you are Straight, Gay or Bi. I also provide some specific suggestions on how to fuel that discovery later but it basically involves creating experiences that can help you measure and decide if you prefer pussy to dick or like both. I would suggest this is all that should matter to you right now. Keep it simple. Forget all those other labels. They only keeping you stuck in a hopeless situation.

You obviously need practice dating since you said you have done very little of it. You also need practice getting "into" and "out of" relationships because there's something wrong when you end up in two LTR's with very little dating. One LTR would be bad enough but two should be sounding alarms for you. Make sure you don't get into a 3rd LTR without much dating.

Before focusing on dating and maneuvering in and out of relationships; the suggestion of going to Bangkok is a good one if you don't know which gender you prefer. If you're confused; make some direct comparison's there and pay close attention to your feelings and sexual energy or excitement. Get really clear on your preferred sex partner gender. That won't change later when you're in a LTR relationship.

If you're not confident or experienced with sexual intercourse then get some massages with happy endings instead at home or abroad. Pay close attention to your preference of having a male or female masseuse in terms of your sexual interest and excitement. If from these experiences you discover you have no preference then start identifying yourself as being bi.

My 2 cents.

Mate..... Just book a ticket for Bangkok and enjoy. That's more Simpler than this