I haven't had anal in a while, I know it will hurt , so I am avoiding it but the longer I wait the worst it gets

Pretend this is your first time having anal and start from the beginning — fingers, small toys, lots of lube, the whole nine yards. Spend as much time as you need stretching yourself out until it's comfortable.

Or just skip it. "Yeah, that used to be nice, but I've moved on"