Good for you!!
Oh dear heart, you're taking on more than you need to carry. I’m really sorry you’re going through this. That sounds exhausting and isolating, especially being the new person and getting hit with a heavy workload right away.
First, I want to say this clearly: changing your mind about a job is not the same as failing God or disrespecting Him. A job can feel right when you pray about it, and still turn out to be a bad fit, unhealthy, or too much for you. That doesn’t mean you heard wrong or that you did something wrong—it just means you’re human and you’re learning through experience.
Also, being overwhelmed, forgetting things under stress, and feeling like people are talking about you are all really common when you’re under pressure like this. It doesn’t mean you’re not capable—it means your nervous system is overloaded.
About quitting: you don’t have to decide out of guilt. You can decide based on wisdom. If the workload is unreasonable, the environment is toxic, or your mental health is suffering, it’s okay to leave. Staying in something that’s breaking you down, isn’t a spiritual requirement. And honestly? If I was treated that badly and disrespected like that, I wouldn't even call in or show up the next day. I would just let it be as it is. I don't reward people who treat me "less than" or disrespectful. They'll find somebody soon enough. People are always looking for a job so they will fill that real quick. No guilt necessary.
And you don’t need to feel shy about praying for another job. God isn’t offended by honesty. 🤭 You’re not “starting over with Him”—you’re just talking to Him in the middle of real life, exactly where you are. It simply didn't feel like a good fit for you, so it's okay to find one where you can really be happy. There's nothing wrong with that. There's no way you could have known that job wasn't a good fit, until you actually tried it.
That happened to me once and I walked right out without any guilt. I wasn't going to be treated the way I was treated by my training lady. She was snippy and she started yelling at me. I don't allow disrespect like that. I dropped what I was doing and walked right out the door. 😆 🤣 😂 Not worth it, my dear! Never feel guilty about that. Everyone deserves to be treated with respect. It's their loss, not yours. God has just the right job for you. He will lead you to it.
A better fit for you would be to walk forward in a way that protects your well-being and still keeps you at peace in your spirit. No harm done. You get to find the job you really want and everybody wins, everyone is happy.
You’re not bad for struggling, and you’re not wrong for reconsidering this job. You’re just trying to survive something that’s turned out heavier than expected.
Some doors should never be opened. Not every spirit is from God. There's certainly seems to be a restless spirit in that place you walked in. Walk away with pride, that you chose for yourself, and didn't let anyone push you around. You did exactly the right thing.... you kept yourself respect and dignity. 🫡 👍☝ That's something to really be proud of. You stood your ground, and rightly so! I know I'm proud of you, so I can just imagine how proud God is of you, for not settling in a place you weren't comfortable in and was not respected, as you deserve. What's more, you exited with honesty and quiet integrity.
Maybe you didn’t choose everything that happened… but you still have a say in what happens next. You've prayed... God will do the rest.
Your heart is the source of life's actions. Protecting it from harmful influences is essential, because it dictates the entire course of life. I'll keep you in my prayers. Expect good things. God has this under control.
https://similarworlds.com/self-improve/motivation/5554065-If-You-Feel-Like-a-Failure-Read-This-50-Stories-of-Hope-and
