Would you say something?

My dad is getting worse in hospice..just two days ago he was sitting up for a few minutes in the morning and talking normally. It was really awesome. He occasionally slurs and is very weak from aggressive cancer..
But today I can't even wake him, he's been in hospice one week today.
His roommate has his TV up loud on Westerns , so there's lots of gunshots. It's not obscenely loud but pretty loud and I'm so damn anxious of ever putting someone out or even asking a small request. 😟 I don't know whether to ask if he could turn it down a couple notches as my dad is nearing the end. I don't know if it's really affecting my dad though..he's in a deep sleep. Would you say anything or just let it go?

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JoyfulSilence · 51-55, M

It never hurts to ask.

My roommate in the rehab home I was at in 2023 often would fall asleep with his TV on. I'd shut it off.

Yet he also watched a lot of things on his phone. Lots of Perry Mason. For me, it was like a non-stop radio show. I could hear but not see. We had a dividing curtain. But it did not block noise!

Gosh, I got so sick of the Perry Mason theme, LOL! But Perry always managed to get people to confess under oath!

I also could smell things, too. My roommate could not stand or walk so wore a diaper. To get him into his wheelchair, they had to roll in a crane and lift him. Space was tight so when that happened I was trapped. And it was behind the curtain so I never saw him being lifted. His wheelchair was often in the way, too. I had to use a walker.

Gosh, I hated that place.

I hope if it ever happens again I can afford a place with my own room. Yet who knows. I will probably be on Medicare and have to accept whatever they are willing to pay.

P.S. My mom has bad health now. She has been having eye problems with multiple surgeries. They fix one problem then something else happens. Now her left eye is a blur. She can see light, vague color, and fuzzy shapes, but nothing sharp or well. She may get some vision back, but maybe not. She had a "detached retina". Her other eye is OK.

Both my parents are miserable now. She still likely has quite a few years ahead of her, since her mom is nearly 100. Her dad died younger only because of lung cancer due to smoking. He might still be alive, otherwise. How well will my Mom live out the rest of her life with only one good eye? I am glad she has Dad around. I told her to get a smartphone with the Uber app!

Baybreeze · 41-45, F

@JoyfulSilence It's difficult because of that curtain yes, we can't see the roommate but hear the loud tv 🙁 I did ask my dad if he could hear it while asleep and he said no. But I still may ask the roommate as the days get nearer, which could be any day. It's just surreal he was only diagnosed three weeks ago🥺
My mom had an eye surgery that went wrong and now she's on permanent eye drops for life or they said within two weeks the eyesight will be gone completely, if she didn't.. luckily she said the dizziness has improved but it's still a damaged eye.

JoyfulSilence · 51-55, M

@Baybreeze

So sorry for all the pain and suffering in your family, including with you.

I am worried about my eyes, too. I have to visit a doctor for eyeball injections, once every three months. They are helping, yet barely. My doctor says things are not getting worse but not getting that much better. He is still worried and still wants to treat me.

But I do notice an improvement, though. My floaters are gone and the faded colors are sharper. I used to get injections once a month, so once every three months is a good sign.

There is a laser option and surgery, too. I already got lasered (before the injections). They cannot do more with a laser. I am not sure what the surgery would do. Maybe clean out floaters?

I also learned a year ago I am developing cataracts. So someday I may need surgery for that. My mom had cataract surgery and one benefit is she no longer has to wear glasses. But having good lenses will not fix ger retina. She would gladly wear glasses again in exchange for a healed retina!