Would you say something?

My dad is getting worse in hospice..just two days ago he was sitting up for a few minutes in the morning and talking normally. It was really awesome. He occasionally slurs and is very weak from aggressive cancer..
But today I can't even wake him, he's been in hospice one week today.
His roommate has his TV up loud on Westerns , so there's lots of gunshots. It's not obscenely loud but pretty loud and I'm so damn anxious of ever putting someone out or even asking a small request. 😟 I don't know whether to ask if he could turn it down a couple notches as my dad is nearing the end. I don't know if it's really affecting my dad though..he's in a deep sleep. Would you say anything or just let it go?

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Elisbch · M

I'm sorry, not trying to pry.... I was wondering if your dad is on a morphine drip? If so, that could explain his jump from the loud noise and still appear to remain asleep. People on a morphine drip can have a range of agitation if disturbed when the drug has sedated them quite a bit. My mother was on this when she was in hospice and the hospice nurses there told us a little bit of what to expect with people on a morphine drip.

Baybreeze · 41-45, F

@Elisbch He's been on morphine yes. Refresh my memory, was your mom in hospice with cancer as well? How old was she?

Elisbch · M

@Baybreeze

My mom was 93 and she went to the hospital for pneumonia. They could not clear it up no matter how hard they tried. They had her on everything machines and Medicine. I don't doubt that they didn't do their best to try to save her. But they couldn't and so there wasn't a choice, she was moved to hospice. Since her lungs were filling with fluid they put her on morphine to keep her comfortable. The morphine allows them to sleep or drift off and not experience anything that's going to be agonizing. My mom also woke up only occasionally for a while and we got to talk with her a little bit. One of the nurses told us after we witnessed my mom getting agitated once and coming out of a sleep state that morphine does that to people. They wake up like that if disturbed or if there's loud noises. However I think each person there again is probably different maybe? We tried to just stay quiet while we were visiting and she was sleeping so that she didn't wake up in that state because it was obvious it was not pleasant for her and we would just wait until she woke up on her own. Or if a nurse came in and woke her slightly and she wasn't too Disturbed we could talk with her then. She passed away within 3 days and that was mainly due from her lungs just filling with fluid. They could not get it out of her fast enough. I asked about the morphine because it just sounded like that might be what caused her agitation. The experience from what you're saying is very similar to what I had. You are doing the best you can under the circumstances and I think you're doing very well. You're keeping your dad company and by far that is the most important thing you can do at this point. One doesn't know if they know you're there while they're sleeping or not. I tend to believe they might. Other people might believe different. I believe that they are aware we are there but are not in a state where they can communicate. Keep doing what you're doing for your dad and be good to yourself. You're truly doing the best you can. If you feel like it you're welcome to write. . I'll leave that up to you. My thoughts are definitely with you and your dad and family. 🫂❤🤗🙏🏻

Baybreeze · 41-45, F

@Elisbch That's horrible how pneumonia affects the lungs so viciously. I'm glad she had a long life. And she knew you were near ..

My dad has pneumonia as well currently. He had a lung infection a month ago before being diagnosed with cancer. He had had a cough many years and the last few, phlegm was present. I often said dad you should get that looked at, I don't think daily phlegm is normal for a long period. I believe the cancer probably aggravated it more and it grew to pneumonia, right as he was diagnosed Non Hodgkin's.
They're no longer truly treateing the lungs Bec he's in hospice, but they give him a pill for the secretions at night. Only Bec I pushed for it. I'm not there tonight and he doesn't have the strength to even ask. I hope they offer it anyway. Ty for your kindness 🌟

Elisbch · M

@Baybreeze

Is it possible to call and ask about the pill for the secretions? It might help put your mind at ease?
COPD generally causes people to cough up phlegm daily but it could be different in everyone and what stage they're in.
🫂🙏🏻❤

Baybreeze · 41-45, F

@Elisbch I didn't think of it until now, about his secretion pill ...it's almost midnight I'm not sure if it's too late to call ? They said it was pneumonia a week ago in the hospital but yes I do believe it must have been COPD for several years.

Elisbch · M

@Baybreeze

IMHO... never hurts to ask (call) 🤗😉.