Kinda a fight

I guess I wouldn't call it a fight but he was annoyed with me this morning.

Before he left for work he asked

Hey why do you always make sure the kids and I have there sensory bags, iPad, extra clothes snacks drinks before we go out but you don't bring one thing to help yourself. I could be wrong but I think maybe if you wore sunglasses in the hospital, or if you had air pods on to listen to music to help calm you down your tics wouldn't of been so bad. Maybe you need a sensory bag.

He really didn't give me time to answer.
He said Just think about it, I love you, I'll see you in a few hours.

But he's right. I just never thought of that before.

So today to help prepare for house hunting I have my air pods in my pocket and I took half a anxiety pill.

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HootyTheNightOwl

It's not a fight... he's just trying to help you to see that you're just as important as everyone else - and, maybe having your own sensory bag would have helped in that situation.

If nothing else, you might have felt reassured to just have items that you might have used with you - even if you didn't actually physically use them in the moment.

The reason why Joel didn't give you time to answer is because it doesn't need a verbal answer. He will see his answer in how you might change going forward from here... and how you start to think about yourself just as much as you think about everyone else.

In this case, the saying "Actions speak louder than words" comes to mind - because he's wanting you to do something rather than saying something. Maybe you could have a think about what you might put in your sensory bag and gather them together??? If you keep it as fully stocked as possible, you'll only need to add snacks, drinks and last minute items.

Cigarguys · 41-45, C

@HootyTheNightOwl well we had a talk last night and I told him I was going to try to work on this. He apologized to me and said that he shouldn't put this all on me. He knows my issues and struggles so he said he was going to make sure I have what I need. I'm not use to someone looking out for me. It's nice and scary at the same time.

HootyTheNightOwl

@Cigarguys I was wondering myself why Joel didn't at least try to gather a few bits together for you???

I mean, sure he might get a few items wrong, but he could have taken an educated guess and laid them out on your bed before asking you if these are the things you would want in your sensory bag - the worst you might do is swap a few things out.

In one way, it might help you to have someone taking care of you in some ways... even if it scares you and causes a little anxiety to start with. Not only do you get some help to see that your own needs are met but it can help you to see that you are just as worthy, too - and having the support of your man behind you can only be positive.

Cigarguys · 41-45, C

@HootyTheNightOwl I think he was frustrated at the time and he's still not feeling great. It was a lot in 24 hours. He was worried about his son. Plus he works a lot so I'm the one that gets this stuff ready.

He almost lost him a year ago. So it was a lot and he really didn't get time to decompress at all that because me that night. He's not sleeping good either. So yeah he said it was unfair of him to put all this on me. I think he just wants to care about myself too.