It's the hardest disorder I've ever come up on in terms of treatment. It's like the pot of glitter dust from the Mental Disorder fairy got accidentally spilled over you guys. I've seen first-hand how totally this issue can affect and overwhelm people. I know that the neds, while they offer some symptom relief, are far from perfect and often create their own troubles.
Are you angry with your God? Do you sense He doesn't understand what He's visited on you? I'm trying to understand here. No one knows why they're given the burdens they are, except that over time those curdens can become potter's wheels, helping form us into what we were meant to become. You've been asked much on this trip around the Universe; but those tests will amount to something, particularly if you have faith in a God. Sometimes we have to work a garden for months before it bears any fruit. And those trees that stand the tallest in the forest have also seen the most damage and danger.
In your daily life, do what you're supposed to do; routine and habit are important and so is health. I'm hoping you have a therapist, because you should. And if you have religious concerns, take them to your church or an open ear; there are reasons we seek sanctuary.
Best of luck to you. You can do this. I know you don't want to; few of us want to carry the loads we have. But it can make you stronger. Little comfort, I know, but hang in there. There are better days.
