I Have Ptsd

I got it from wrecks. I'm ashamed of that. I was abused when I was very young and then again around the time when the accident happened. And I don't have PTSD from that. No I get panic attacks for hours on end because of wrecks.
I think I would've been better off had my parents listened to me or cared about the nightmares at all. Maybe I could've gotten help.
I couldn't even speak about what happened for over a year. And when they were pushing and pushing me to say what caused my nightmares (because they thought my stepdad at the time had raped me but they never asked me outright because that's too logical).. When I finally managed to force myself to speak about it the first person I told said, "Oh, that's it? That wasn't that bad. I'm kind of mad. Because that's not that big of a deal."

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PeanutsauntieP1982 · 41-45, F

What isn't a big deal to one might be a life changing ordeal for another, and the reverse is true as well. I have PTSD, and while many people who've been through what I went through have PTSD, some don't. It just varies from person to person, situation to situation. And wrecks are scary to hear about and see. Only once have I seen a wreck happen (wasn't too big), and was the first to call 9-1-1, I don't remember seeing it. It's like I got amnesia for those few seconds. Strange huh?

boklenholley7 · F

True enough. I guess I was so mad more because what we went through.. What she was comparing my experience to.. Was nothing alike.
That is very strange.

PeanutsauntieP1982 · 41-45, F

I've felt the same at times, but that's how've I've learned to always validate someone else's experiences to them, they were as traumatic as yours or mine. I acquired my PTSD almost 9 years ago, the result of being awake for 30 minutes of a 45 minute procedure. Like you, it was very hard to talk about it, but luckily I had a therapist I liked and trusted, and she was like my lighthouse in a storm tossed sea.

If you want to talk, I'm here, friendly, and nonjudgmental. : - ) I like listening to others.

boklenholley7 · F

@PeanutsauntieP1982: Yeah, I've learned to do that as well. I'm sorry about what happened to you. That must have been awful.
Thank you. I really appreciate it.

PeanutsauntieP1982 · 41-45, F

As I am sorry about your ordeal too. But, I know if I survived my very worst fear, not too much can scare me these days. You know what does scare me though? Spiders...and water slides. Of all the things I could be scared of! Hmmph!! LOL!! : - )

boklenholley7 · F

@PeanutsauntieP1982: Water slides huh? What a sad life it must be :p

PeanutsauntieP1982 · 41-45, F

LOL!! But every now and then, I marshal my courage and go on one just to prove 1-My fear isn't bigger than me 2-I can indeed swim! :-). And as for the spiders...It's on my bucket list to have a rose-haired tarantula walk on me. I'm doing exposure therapy to prepare. But, LOL, I am reminded of a funny quote "We have nothing to fear but fear itself...and spiders. #%*£ spiders!!"

boklenholley7 · F

@PeanutsauntieP1982: That's awesome. LOL. I hate spiders also. But I don't ever want one walking across my hand. Like ever.

PeanutsauntieP1982 · 41-45, F

Hehehe. : - )