I Have Ptsd
Yesterday started like normal. I was mentally and physically in a good place. I went to work and all was well.
Things slowly went badly. I have my headsets on listening to something when someone barges in. She was mad and crying. I immediately stood up and asked her if she was alright. She was not of course. She was talking about killing someone. I went after her saying:"no don't do it, xxxxxxx, please don't do it. She was not listening to me. She's digging in her purse. I'm watching intently. In my head I'm seeing a gun. When she says something about keys, I relax and walk away. This is not my business and I don't want to be in the middle of it.
I go back to work, when all of a sudden the woman comes in again. She's crying and upset. I tried to calm her down and ask where are the kids. She said inside with him.
This event went on for 4 hours. At one point they are fighting physically, pushing each other and she gets hit. The devastation in her eyes I'm familiar with. I remember it so well.
I decide I have to go. I go get my things and then 'great" they start again. I freeze. I am holding my hands together as in prayer and i can't move. I just stand there. Ib remember saying under my breath "I don't know what to do.What do I do?"
Next thing you know the police is called. I walked back to where the wife was, the girls are playing. They are 4 of them in the ages of 2-4. I see the police asking questions and I'm not sure what I should do. Will he ask me questions? I whisper"may I leave? " The wife knobs yes. I whisper to her, call me if you need me and left.
Now I'm in the car feeling like someone kicked me in the gut. I called my friend and she talks to me a little. Then my boyfriend calls me because he knew the things happening because we were texting. I'm a crying mess now. I get home when my friend called again to check up on me. By this time I know what it is. A combination of two things. PTSD from seeing my mother and father fight, which I had no clue of until yesterday and of course the PTSD of the man hitting the woman. Now here I sit, fighting all this physical pain as well as emotional pain. Other people want to talk, I just want to speak to the people that understand what I'm going through.
Things slowly went badly. I have my headsets on listening to something when someone barges in. She was mad and crying. I immediately stood up and asked her if she was alright. She was not of course. She was talking about killing someone. I went after her saying:"no don't do it, xxxxxxx, please don't do it. She was not listening to me. She's digging in her purse. I'm watching intently. In my head I'm seeing a gun. When she says something about keys, I relax and walk away. This is not my business and I don't want to be in the middle of it.
I go back to work, when all of a sudden the woman comes in again. She's crying and upset. I tried to calm her down and ask where are the kids. She said inside with him.
This event went on for 4 hours. At one point they are fighting physically, pushing each other and she gets hit. The devastation in her eyes I'm familiar with. I remember it so well.
I decide I have to go. I go get my things and then 'great" they start again. I freeze. I am holding my hands together as in prayer and i can't move. I just stand there. Ib remember saying under my breath "I don't know what to do.What do I do?"
Next thing you know the police is called. I walked back to where the wife was, the girls are playing. They are 4 of them in the ages of 2-4. I see the police asking questions and I'm not sure what I should do. Will he ask me questions? I whisper"may I leave? " The wife knobs yes. I whisper to her, call me if you need me and left.
Now I'm in the car feeling like someone kicked me in the gut. I called my friend and she talks to me a little. Then my boyfriend calls me because he knew the things happening because we were texting. I'm a crying mess now. I get home when my friend called again to check up on me. By this time I know what it is. A combination of two things. PTSD from seeing my mother and father fight, which I had no clue of until yesterday and of course the PTSD of the man hitting the woman. Now here I sit, fighting all this physical pain as well as emotional pain. Other people want to talk, I just want to speak to the people that understand what I'm going through.
