Working on my OCD

So I do most of the cooking I enjoy it and I'm way better at it then Joel. But after I cook a meal I have to clean up right away. Once I get that clean up the kids are usually done eating so I clean up after then. Doing this I never stop to actually eat anything myself. Once everything is cleaned up we move on to the next thing.


So now while I'm cooking I've been telling myself it's ok to clean everything thing up after everyone finishes dinner. I repeat this in my head over and over. Joel even gives me gentle reminder. It's been a struggle honestly. But baby sets right.
The first night I tried this I lasted 15 seconds before I lost it. Yesterday I made it 2 minutes before I had to clean. I know that doesn't seem like much but it's progress. Even if it is slow.