Anybody has parents that sabotaged their lives?

@Thevy29 It's amazing you survived, when you put it that way.

@Thevy29 Damn, it must have been hard. Sounds just like my parents, so I sympathize with you, man.

To my dad, I was just a slave to do his biddings. I was like a dog to him to listen to every command for every little things. He likes to drink tea, so he asked me to do things like filling his teapot with hot water instead of getting up and filling it himself. Whenever he needed help with anything, he would come straight to me or some of my siblings without even trying to find the answer himself first. My life was filled with stuff like that. He raised me to be a coward without a voice because he used fear as a tactic to control me. It felt like we were born to make his life easier. I grew up to be a doormat for other people and him.

For my mom, mind-fucking is the perfect word to describe what she does. She always mixes what is right and what is wrong up, even to this day. When I was trying to learn a new skill, she would discourage me by saying I cannot do shit right. Not a single advice I gave her that she listened to until she saw in front of her very eyes that I was right. She told me to listen to authorities and not to hang out with friends because I might get lost or kidnapped growing up. I grew up being naive and lost myself because I was taught that normal things like sleeping over with friends or standing up for myself against tyrannical teachers were bad. Everything and everyone are right, except for me. I never understood why she is so fucking dumb. Like she restricted my growth and dumb me down so hard when I was trying to grow up.

Anyway, thanks for sharing your story. It amazing that we can relate like this. Stay strong. 💪

@Dethmoore Sounds as though your mom was afraid you & your siblings might become smarter than she was.

@SomeMichGuy thanks for your input. I do not even know if that is the reason. I thought she is just inept and living in her own world, where left is right and right is left. She never finished school while me and my brother both graduated college. It is already a given that we would surpass her, but why be toxic to her own kids? Like one time, I told her that I already have taken the medication she was going to take, in my past. I told her the side effect of the medication and that it is normal. This is even stated in the papers that the medication came with. She did not listen to my warning that the side effect will happen and thought that something bad was happening to her from the medication. She called random people at the hospital to ask about the medication, like the clerk, then a random nurse, until eventually to a doctor that told her that it is common for the side effect to happen. I then told her that was what I said, but the crazy thing was that she denied me saying anything at all. I was in it for her since the beginning, yet she treated me like I am nothing.

@Dethmoore
Thanks for your gracious words and your further explanation.

I think the Trump stuff has shown that a slice of the populace is afraid of knowledge, scared of their kids knowing more than them, etc.; people who DON'T want the line from [i]What a Wonderful World[/i] to come true: [i]they'll know much more than I ever will[/i]...

I wouldn't be surprised if this correlated with illiteracy, poor academic performance, disillusionment, etc.

I think standing back and pitying her might help you break her influence...see her as being limited by how she was raised and who she was/is...but see her for the pathetic person whom you know she is. Makes it harder to harbor hate and far easier to dismiss her...nonsense.

You are the one who can choose, even now, how to respond to her, how to reframe it.

@SomeMichGuy hey, you are absolutely right. I have watched her struggled and failed at performing simple tasks, which I felt the need to step in and stop her from doing things wrong for her own sake. I felt like it is my duty to protect or save my mother from anything that is within my capabilities. If my knowledge and opinions have no weight behind them, then it is a waste of breath to say anything. I know I cannot hate her since she is the woman that gave birth and raise me up, but at the same time I cannot deal with her. I have decided to step back as you said, and let her do her own things while I do me. As much as it pains me to abandon ship, sinking with her is foolish. I appreciate your time and thoughts. Thanks again!

@Dethmoore You are quite welcome; if I have been in ANY way helpful, then it has been [u]my[/u] pleasure, I assure you.

Thank you for your very gracious words and feel free to contact me at any time, though you may have gotten the lion's share of what little wisdom I have, already.