Anybody has parents that sabotaged their lives?

@Dethmoore
Thanks for your gracious words and your further explanation.

I think the Trump stuff has shown that a slice of the populace is afraid of knowledge, scared of their kids knowing more than them, etc.; people who DON'T want the line from [i]What a Wonderful World[/i] to come true: [i]they'll know much more than I ever will[/i]...

I wouldn't be surprised if this correlated with illiteracy, poor academic performance, disillusionment, etc.

I think standing back and pitying her might help you break her influence...see her as being limited by how she was raised and who she was/is...but see her for the pathetic person whom you know she is. Makes it harder to harbor hate and far easier to dismiss her...nonsense.

You are the one who can choose, even now, how to respond to her, how to reframe it.

@SomeMichGuy hey, you are absolutely right. I have watched her struggled and failed at performing simple tasks, which I felt the need to step in and stop her from doing things wrong for her own sake. I felt like it is my duty to protect or save my mother from anything that is within my capabilities. If my knowledge and opinions have no weight behind them, then it is a waste of breath to say anything. I know I cannot hate her since she is the woman that gave birth and raise me up, but at the same time I cannot deal with her. I have decided to step back as you said, and let her do her own things while I do me. As much as it pains me to abandon ship, sinking with her is foolish. I appreciate your time and thoughts. Thanks again!

@Dethmoore You are quite welcome; if I have been in ANY way helpful, then it has been [u]my[/u] pleasure, I assure you.

Thank you for your very gracious words and feel free to contact me at any time, though you may have gotten the lion's share of what little wisdom I have, already.

@TheEmperor Same. I also sympathize with you, man. Now, into my 30s I am still very doubtful of myself. I have basically achieved nothing at this age, while my peers grew up to be professionals, getting married, buying houses, etc. I was not encouraged to do normal things, especially by my mother. As a matter of fact, I was even discouraged to do anything at all. I made a lot of bad life decisions and now I am way behind. It sucks, man. Thank you for sharing. Keep going!

@DerSilberneKonig1 yeah, narcissistic abuse. My dad traumatized my whole family too. Being the man of the house, me, some of my siblings( he has a golden child), and even my narcissistic mom were traumatized by him. Everything revolved around him. I grew up with anxiety thanks to him. Thanks for sharing and I hope you got away from that.