Im not good at this

Im probably going to majorly regret posting thos and will proably be called named or lose friends and honestly that would be the icing on the cake. But my friends keep telling me to reach out and to open up and that is really hadd for me and im not good at this but ik gonna try and i apologize to anyone i hurt its not my intention i just dont have the energy of the strenght to censor and sugar coat things. Im sorry.

Im sorry ive disappeared without notice. Im sorry for all the people I left on read. Ive tried to deal with this downward sprial on my own but clearly im not handling it well.


Its taking me a while to post this in trying to get it out ive been working on this post since this morning its probably all over the place and im probably not making any sense im trying

Im seeing the signs and i know whats gonna happen next if i dont talk or reach out or get so fucking drunk or numb that these horrible thoughts and urges will go away.

I lost my biggsst support system and because of upcoming custody decisions im absolutely fucking terrfied of being honest with my doctor.

Ive tried all my coping mechanism and its just getting impossible. Im not supposed to drink but im thinking its probably the safest thing i could do right now.

Logically ii know this can just be becauee of the recent med change and I just need to get through it but honestly im struggling to get through it.

Im sorry