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I Am Depressed

To be honest, if it weren't for the people I love, I've been dead already. I see no meaning in living.
I'm just full of dissapointments and have been told that every bad thing that happens within my range is technically my fault.
I tried to get a social life but I've been let down. I was looking forward to it but my best friend just bailed out on me this weekend. It's not her fault, it's mine. I just couldn't be mature about it. I just couldn't look things at a bright side.
If dissapintments could kilL slowly , I would already be dead a long time ago.
Personally I just live for people I love. If they're gone, I don't see the meaning of me staying here. I'm just unhappy with myself.
I just want to be happy as well outside my family zone.
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OzDiver · 61-69, M
I'm sorry that you are so down on yourself.
It can be really difficult to find any clarify when there is so much depression clouding your world.
If it's possible for you, perhaps seek some counselling?
Depression is real and can be tough to beat on your own.
Good luck on your journey. And if you wish to message me, please feel very welcome to do so.