I Am Depressed

To be honest, if it weren't for the people I love, I've been dead already. I see no meaning in living.
I'm just full of dissapointments and have been told that every bad thing that happens within my range is technically my fault.
I tried to get a social life but I've been let down. I was looking forward to it but my best friend just bailed out on me this weekend. It's not her fault, it's mine. I just couldn't be mature about it. I just couldn't look things at a bright side.
If dissapintments could kilL slowly , I would already be dead a long time ago.
Personally I just live for people I love. If they're gone, I don't see the meaning of me staying here. I'm just unhappy with myself.
I just want to be happy as well outside my family zone.