omg I'm the same exact way .all my life I've been lonley and shut out. I can't accept myself and love myself for who I am. you're perfect the way you are, you don't need to change anything. as for the being alone. you have me. I can be your friend if you'd like.

I'm sorry, I can relate to how you feel...it really is a sad spiral that always seems to pop back up at the worst time...I am here for you and if you ever need to talk, I will gladly! Stay strong!