I am ashamed of my depression
Ashamed to admit it
Ashamed to talk about it
Ashamed to say anything about it, thinking I'd drown people with it... that it'd be too much on them. Even online.
Ashamed of myself who could not ward off myself from it.
And I hate it. And I hate myself because of it.
I only percieve myself as a ray of sunshine and I cannot accept myself otherwise. I hold myself on high standards so when I steep this low I feel disgusted.
I am on antidepressants (yes, because I am ashamed of that I didn't tell a soul about it)... so there are good days... but days like today still exist. Those are nightmares.
Ashamed to talk about it
Ashamed to say anything about it, thinking I'd drown people with it... that it'd be too much on them. Even online.
Ashamed of myself who could not ward off myself from it.
And I hate it. And I hate myself because of it.
I only percieve myself as a ray of sunshine and I cannot accept myself otherwise. I hold myself on high standards so when I steep this low I feel disgusted.
I am on antidepressants (yes, because I am ashamed of that I didn't tell a soul about it)... so there are good days... but days like today still exist. Those are nightmares.