for the immediacy, try getting outside for a while, go for a walk or something
i know it's not a long term solution but you will feel better

Sorry that you've had such a hard time. I hope there are days where it doesn't feel so heavy.

I know what it's like and how tough it is. It really sucks when you don't have anyone who you can trust enough to talk to about it.

Does it feel better with the antidepressants?
How is it being on them?

Every cloud has a silver lining.

some people are just sad,

https://similarworlds.com/mental-issues/depression-anxiety/1843069-I-Battle-Depression-How-to-fight-depression-without