All that and more, sigh

I have been diagnosed with major depression with anxiety, PTSD, and some borderline features. I also think I might have ADHD. I have been living alone for 17 years now, and it's definitely a contributing factor. At this point, though, I am not even sure if I could live with someone; even my two cats get annoyed with me. I moved to where I am 5 years ago, and I have yet to make a friend. I had one briefly, but she spent one entire day busting my chops about everything I did. I walked away from her and she followed me and said, "I'm sorry," to which I replied, "You certainly are!" Oops, don't test me when I've just had root canal... Also, I did move here to be closer to family, but we are not in touch as much either. Just kind of venting here, although I know there is a forum for that. Hopefully this online thing will help a bit, just have to find a balance between hanging out and getting stuff done since I'm on my own! (Forgot to add that in the interim I have also lost 4 siblings, both of my parents, and the last person I lived with. Time is a thief!)

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SageWanderer · 70-79, M

As a fellow sufferer of PTSD along with depression I can emphasize with your feelings. Besides my previous life as a paramedic/firefighter and caretaker for my wife for years the scars run deep.
I don’t have many answers but can listen to venting. And I feel everyone has to find their own way; even my therapist is uneasy with mine but as she says, “Whatever works”.

DettaOdetta · 56-60, FNew

@SageWanderer Thank you for the support ❤. I came by the PTSD from my early life and then some trouble with my dad when he came down with dementia, but then I also joined the military and went to the Middle East, so there you are. Someone to listen is welcome, but I will try to focus on other things. I just wanted to get some stuff out. I am finding my own way on my own most recently. I was Baker Acted twice last year, and I have no intention of going through that again, so no more VA care for that stuff! (They were much better in my home state and no Baker Act there, either. It was also traumatizing, and I am sure it contributed to the rise in my anxiety.)

DDaverde · 61-69, M

@DettaOdetta thank you for your service to our country!

Freetime · 56-60, M

My depression and anxiety became very bad when I was living on my own away from family. Eventually, I had to move back. I did better being near family again, but I can understand what you are going through. I still don't have any true real-life friends. Talking to people online helps me in some ways though.

Do you have activities that you enjoy?

DDaverde · 61-69, M

Sorry to hear this especially of your loss es
I have severe depression and ptsd .it’s no fun…

DettaOdetta · 56-60, FNew

@DDaverde Thank you! I am the youngest of 8 kids and I never really stopped to think that it would all happen eventually. I had the mistaken impression that as I got older it would be easier to bear (we lost the first brother when we were all very young), but it's not easier, just different. I am not making light of what you said at all, but sometimes, later, I do laugh at when my cats and I have climbed onto the ceiling from the same loud noise, lol!

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