It is a bad day

Sometimes. You just have days where it is like. What is the point? My life is shit. I am living in a world in which I find it impossible to get even my basic needs met most of the time, much less do things I enjoy. I have no one in my life I can just...be totally authentic around. And talk about all the various things I am interested with. I have met people online who I am able to connect w more authentically. They come and go. I....I don't even enjoy anything a lot of days. Like...the world is just so bad some days there is NOTHING that seems to make things look brighter. You could present my most favorite thing in the world to me and it's like...this world is still shit. My life is still shit. I don't care.

So...that is where I am at currently. I see life as this futile struggle where I will just continue to suffer worse & degrade as functioning person as I have been doing until I fucking die from it. Just wither and die like neglected plant trying its hardest to grow in totally unsuitable environment anyways.

I don't want that. I fight so hard every day to...um...just...enjoy life....bring little comforts or joys to my days. Sometimes just nothing cuts it. I want a good life. It is all I want.