I'm lonely as shit
My husband woke up this morning and saw me hunched over looking depressed. He asked me what was wrong...I just started crying over how lonely I was. Another week to get through holed up in my bedroom. Can't really go anywhere else in the house because of my toxic parents. I don't have a car right now so....I can't leave the house either. And even if I did have a car....I have to be exposed to my parents to get to it which stresses me out to the point where I probably wouldn't always have the nerve to go out anyways.
Every once in a while I get to see a friend or spend time with a sibling. Of course I have my husband who I am so grateful for that I get to spend my evenings with. Weekends are the best because we are together all day.
To be honest. A lot of my company....are spirits. But...that has always been the case, since I was born practically. And lately....the spirits that I like to hang around haven't even been around. Most of the ones I talk to lately are basically strangers to me and the conversation isn't really interesting. (Not me ghosting ghosts bc they are boring lmao) (Also disclaimer I do NOT recommend reaching out just to chat to random ass spirits, I can't help it they are just constantly around me sooooo I can ignore them or talk. 🙄 Generally I do just ignore them if I am not familiar with them but....like I said I am often lonely.) (ANOTHER disclaimer not interested in you're crazy comments if you don't believe in spirits and are going to be rude/immature about it I have 0 interest in interacting with you and will probably just block you lol.)
Life is just sort of shitty right now. There is nothing I can immediately do about my situation. We are just slowly chipping away at it. My husband and I are actually interested in communal living and someday would like to make like....our own little community. Of close knit friends who all use our own skills/professions to keep our community running. We will all be neighbors and maybe share certain land to raise food on. And we will all sing kumbayah and get high on the weekends 😌 HAHAHA. But seriously, I would love to live in a community of good people who all really care for each other and look out for one another someday. Right now we are stuck living in this AWFUL city (it's not dangerous....it's like....stuck up rich oblivious live outside reality white people world....) with AWFUL neighbors who are just loud as fuck or throw crazy parties that clog up all the roads or send mean notes because due to severe medical/financial/personal issues (as well as extreme heat!) my family has not been able to keep up with weeding our front yard. I am sure whoever sent my family that note has a yard service who comes and takes care of their weeds weekly. As I said...oblivious snotty rich folks who live in their own reality. Also a ton of the people here. Straight up racist....homophobic....prejudiced in every which way possible. This town is just shit. We 110% intend to move as soon as we can just....not doable right now in our current financial situation.
Anyways. Complaining don't get me nowheres I suppose. I am just sad this morning. I will try to have a nice day despite my loneliness.
Every once in a while I get to see a friend or spend time with a sibling. Of course I have my husband who I am so grateful for that I get to spend my evenings with. Weekends are the best because we are together all day.
To be honest. A lot of my company....are spirits. But...that has always been the case, since I was born practically. And lately....the spirits that I like to hang around haven't even been around. Most of the ones I talk to lately are basically strangers to me and the conversation isn't really interesting. (Not me ghosting ghosts bc they are boring lmao) (Also disclaimer I do NOT recommend reaching out just to chat to random ass spirits, I can't help it they are just constantly around me sooooo I can ignore them or talk. 🙄 Generally I do just ignore them if I am not familiar with them but....like I said I am often lonely.) (ANOTHER disclaimer not interested in you're crazy comments if you don't believe in spirits and are going to be rude/immature about it I have 0 interest in interacting with you and will probably just block you lol.)
Life is just sort of shitty right now. There is nothing I can immediately do about my situation. We are just slowly chipping away at it. My husband and I are actually interested in communal living and someday would like to make like....our own little community. Of close knit friends who all use our own skills/professions to keep our community running. We will all be neighbors and maybe share certain land to raise food on. And we will all sing kumbayah and get high on the weekends 😌 HAHAHA. But seriously, I would love to live in a community of good people who all really care for each other and look out for one another someday. Right now we are stuck living in this AWFUL city (it's not dangerous....it's like....stuck up rich oblivious live outside reality white people world....) with AWFUL neighbors who are just loud as fuck or throw crazy parties that clog up all the roads or send mean notes because due to severe medical/financial/personal issues (as well as extreme heat!) my family has not been able to keep up with weeding our front yard. I am sure whoever sent my family that note has a yard service who comes and takes care of their weeds weekly. As I said...oblivious snotty rich folks who live in their own reality. Also a ton of the people here. Straight up racist....homophobic....prejudiced in every which way possible. This town is just shit. We 110% intend to move as soon as we can just....not doable right now in our current financial situation.
Anyways. Complaining don't get me nowheres I suppose. I am just sad this morning. I will try to have a nice day despite my loneliness.
