How to determine if you’re depress?

I feel like im depress. I just want to drink everyday and sleep all day just to escape from reality. I hate if i wake and need to come back to reality. Everyday just feels getting worse i dont have any will to live i just want to disappear or have amnesia. I dont like my life. I feel like i have no purpose. I feel like ive never really been happy. I no longer want to be with people and distancing myself to them. I just want to get drunk on my own until i make myself get to sleep. My mind is a a mess its always loud 😭😭😭

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powernap · 56-60, M

Please hear me when I say this : I can relate to your situation 100%. I often think about ending it. Two things stop me. First, I don't like the sight of blood. Second, I'm afraid of what's on the other side. I've learned a thing or two over the years about suicide. No one really wants to kill themselg, they just want the pain they are experiencing to end. There is also this desire to live that is wired in our conscience.