Does anyone else fear getting better?

That may seem like an odd question, but it can sort of be how I feel sometimes. I've struggled with depression and anxiety for years but the idea of counseling or similar treatment can really scare me. I can't always explain it even to myself. Even the idea of just trying to open up and get more of a life can be really intimidating at times.

Lol I hope I'm making sense. I question myself and my words a lot