Does anyone else fear getting better?

That may seem like an odd question, but it can sort of be how I feel sometimes. I've struggled with depression and anxiety for years but the idea of counseling or similar treatment can really scare me. I can't always explain it even to myself. Even the idea of just trying to open up and get more of a life can be really intimidating at times.

Lol I hope I'm making sense. I question myself and my words a lot

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SStarfish ·

I don't think you fear getting better.. you fear the experience if expressing yourself? I presume you are painfully shy?

TexasDude · 31-35, M

@SStarfish Yeah I can be shy. I'm often the really quiet one at a party or something. If you get me going, I can open up almost too much lol but that's not often. I can even have trouble talking to friends and family about some things. It's easier in places like this to open up, or even just in text form in general.

However, I think I really do fear growth a bit because I think I'm realizing how I sort of use my issues as a shield to not move forward in life...pursue dreams, get better jobs, or whatever. Basically I think, on some level, I hide from responsibility and adulting. I mean I can function but life could be more than this

SStarfish ·

@TexasDude did you have overbearing parents? I think when kids aren't raised with support and appreciation they tend to be closed off and shy.. unlike other kids who are extraverted? Because they are allowed?

TexasDude · 31-35, M

@SStarfish No not really. Mom and I are really close. Dad was cool too, when he was around. I suppose I was sheltered in many ways though.