I'm an extrovert with social anxiety

And I was going to a music event tomorrow. But my anxiety has been so strong I haven't been able to sleep, I hear my pulse galloping and my head is spinning. I jump at every little sound.

My therapist said it's only accurate that I get these extreme fear reactions to public events since my life has convinced me that people will hurt me. It's what happens after trauma.

I have vented to my partner but he is tired it's late and he wanna sleep. I feel like a burden. But I can't lay down and try to sleep I just get faster and faster pulse and I start hearing things that isn't even there.

The only thing I know helps when there's no one to listen to me is venting and writing all my feelings and thoughts out. It's like I can let it go afterwards. I can release myself from the iron fists of my mental illness for a moment.

Not the best start of the weekend. But I don't wanna dissapoint myself and cancel just because it's difficult. I wanna overpower my own fears and trauma reactions.