I think that happiness is a matter of circumstance a lot more than people give fair shake to. I'm a young single guy. I'm relatively quiet and as long as I think I've been alive I've imagined having that life where I have a woman I'm in live with in all the cute sweet ways that relationships go. Reality has been far less the case for me. But I hear a lot of things like it takes loving yourself first and you need to love yourself more or the most. Not sure how I feel about it exactly, but I can say that I think for a single person that maybe hasn't ever had a serious relationship with anyone or experienced that happiness of getting that sweet cure relationship, getting that would be a life-transforming difference in a way where that person would be FAR happier. "But you just don't get it, because you haven't experienced it yet so you can't know." I hear that a lot too. On a medically psychological basis there are two guaranteed methods of happier-ness in life: Big money and big love. Falling in real love would change your life the same way that going from paycheck to paycheck to winning a billion dollar lotto would. But I think the mind-game mentality of oversimplifying the level of transformation between a single person hoping upon hope for a lifetime that isn't wasted by finding love and the difference in that person after they really score the W and achieve such a love can't possibly be quantified down to something as shallow as 'you need to love yourself first before you can possibly be in love.'

OP I think a lot of what you wrote as a guy really speaks to me and feels familiar to me. But I do think that part of attraction by others is faking it till you make it. I know if I walk around wearing my feelings it's going to make people not attracted to me thus putting me in a state of a sort of self-fulfilling prophecy. I hope any of this brings you some positive thoughts and feelings to know you aren't alone in this fight.

I feel the same. I need love too but sometimes we need to love ourselves more.