I fear wellness this is why

Next month I am due to get an appointment for psychology. I have therefore been trying to gather my thoughts to answer the question what do you want from this theraphy? They always ask me this every time I have theraphy. I know I want to deal with trauma from my past. But also I want to able to go out alone again and to socialise by myself. But I realise that means getting better and that terrifies me. Which is probably why theraphy has never worked in the past. My biggest fear is having to go to work and deal with strangers all day. This is because in the religious cult I was part of I had it drummed into me that those not of God are controlled by demons. I was taught to fear demons which gave me a fear of strangers. This might sound weird to you but its very real for me. So dealing with people all day and being thrown into a situation wherein I'll be with colleagues I don't know is terrifying for me. So I want to be well but at the same time I'm really scared of it. Because it will mean that I possibly could be fit to work then. Even though I have other health issues they may not be enough to keep me on the sick.I have to decide whether to tell the psychologist this or not too. The last thing I want is for them to think I'm not even going to try to get better though. I really feel like my anxiety has me in a catch 22 situation. I feel stuck which irritates me. I want to feel like working would be ok. But I just can't get past the feelings of fear that are so deeply ingrained. I know this is all due to religious trauma and other trauma that I've experienced in my life. Anyway these are just my thoughts that I'm basically putting here after jotting things down in my journal. I like to share in case anyone can relate so they know they are not alone.