Ive officially given up

For the past few years, I've been battling depression. I've gone to numerous visits and counselling sessions, but nothing seems to be helping. I've been a horrible person, especially to my little brother, who passed away without ever havbing a meaningful moment. I attempt to forgive myself for not spending more time with him, and treating him with respect,but nothing seems to work. I have guilt dreams. My children no longer have a mother because I am unable to be myself. I believe I'vehave reached the end of the path.

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Mamapolo2016 · F

Have you received any medications to get you over the rough patch?

Anonymous567 · 46-50, F

@Mamapolo2016 I've tried a variety of medications, but none of them have ever worked for me. The side effects are making me worse

Mamapolo2016 · F

@Anonymous567 I can only speak of my own experience.

I did two things.

1.) I worked with my doctor to find a medication that made things better.

2.) On those days when I didn't want to talk to anybody or be around people, or even get out of bed, I forced myself to do it. Would I get out of bed if I smelled smoke, or heard my children scream? Then I could get out of bed now.

Something I learned about addiction and mental illness. Those things don't want you to get better. They want to own you and toy with you and make you miserable. Eventually, they want to kill you.

That made me mad. It didn't happen in a week but I did get better, made some changes that made things better still and any dives I've taken for 30 years have been a day or two and gone.

I truly, sincerely, passionately hope you keep looking for the door out until you find it.

SomeMichGuy · M

I see you may well mot have been here since your post, but are you contemplating suicide?

If so, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline:

1-800-273-8255

visit

https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

If you are not in the US, PLEASE look for your local resources.

If the mix of chemicals bathing your brain is WRONG, you will never feel RIGHT. That can be a biochemical part of this.

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