Autism and Hermit life [I Battle Depression]

I've been indoors since 16 and was diagnosed with autism at 11 I've always been different I hate outdoors definitely can't stand crowds and dread public transport I've had a tough life I don't have any family but I do have a boyfriend whose somewhat supportive it's long distance.
The only time I go out realisticly is when I see my 1 friend or my boyfriend if we go out or to empty the bins life stays like this.
I don't find it necessary to make friends and find it incredibly draining and a waste if time talking to others I never finished school i dropped out of college I physically can't be around too many people or else I will feel drained and it takes months to restore my energy but in general I like my own company.
I hope I can actually make it to go shopping tomorrow I still haven't been to my local library yet I've been saying this for the past week lol if there's anyone similar out there why is it like this?

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BlueVeins · 22-25

I'm on a waitlist to get tested for ASD. I definitely don't have it as bad as you, but I too find interaction to be very exhausting, and it really does take months...

Hikikomoribabe99 · 22-25, F

@BlueVeins I'm sort of into crystals and new age it's possible autistic people could be more sensitive to energies I find when I wear certain crystals around certain people and in certain places I don't feel so drained.

BlueVeins · 22-25

@Hikikomoribabe99 Honestly, I don't believe in all that stuff, but I'm glad it helps you. ❤️ I did for a bit in my teen years lol.

UpForItNow · 22-25, F

Once you reach adulthood you no longer need be forced into unwanted social situations.

Hikikomoribabe99 · 22-25, F

@UpForItNow you do even meeting your boyfriend's family new friends family and friends weddings socialisation alcohol engaging in horrific small talk job interviews to me that's unwanted.

UpForItNow · 22-25, F

@Hikikomoribabe99 I just copy neurotypical socialising techniques to sufficiently meet my economic and biological needs. The latter can also be met impersonally through hookers. Interviews I quite enjoy as they're structured, repetitive and don't involve much dynamic interaction, plus you can pretend to be one of them for 45mins then they have to make their decision.

TimingQuasars

I love the outdoors but i dont like being overly social. I love nature i get this wonderouse sensation when i go hike alone in a lush forest... Almost like ive done it before in some kind of distant passed.

Hikikomoribabe99 · 22-25, F

@TimingQuasars I somewhat like outdoors nature but I loathe seeing people I'm more scared of people than I am of wild animals.

Ryannnnnn · 31-35, M

Do you live in your own place?. I found when I had anxiety that moving into my own apartment helped me a great deal in getting out and evaporating those feelings.

Hikikomoribabe99 · 22-25, F

@Ryannnnnn own flat yes.

SW-User

It honestly feels like you're more of an agoraphobic to a degree than a hermit. But that's just me, I may just be less of a hermit than you.

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