I can not stand depression [I Hate Depression]

That is one word I will get rid of if I could. Its like this shit is all around me. I remember that a few of my family had suffered with it before moving to another state in 2000; then after we moved here it wasn't long when I began seeing it again but it was worse. My mom is suffering with so much that I do not know exactly what to say or do to make her feel better. I keep the home cleaned, run errands, shop for groceries, go to doctor's appointments with her, sleep in the room with mom; but when I leave the room to listen to music or do whatever she'll become upset and accusing herself of many problems that is going on in life today and being a worrier.

I am thinking of throwing my hands up and say what the hell because nothing turning out right. I am doing so much but all my siblings have to do is call with bull and it will set my mom off; things....

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tryingtobeOK · 36-40, F

I've been there for a very long time. Sometimes I don't tell what I feel to anyone, because I know they hear what I say, but they don't really listen.

taLking5 · 51-55, F

@tryingtobeOK I feel that no one is listening to me at all regardless of who I am talking to.

tryingtobeOK · 36-40, F

I am sorry about what you feel. It feels like that for me as well. But I have learned to ignore anybody. I don't confide to anybody anymore.😞@taLking5

taLking5 · 51-55, F

@tryingtobeOK I don't confide in anyone either. I find that if I do, it would only add more stress to me and I do not need it.

assemblingaknob · 26-30, F

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SW-User

Been there for a long time but not anymore. That's exhausting I'm sorry 😞.

taLking5 · 51-55, F

[@Noni3 I am glad you are not depressed anymore. What did you do to get out of it?

taLking5 · 51-55, F

@SW-User Believe me, I do not enjoy being depressed either. There were tense moments in my life but it was nothing to write home about (meaning I did not make a big deal out of it). Today, is much worse and I am trying to shake it off by going on walks, listening to music (which I have not listened to in a while; I used to enjoy playing my favorite game but now I have not played that game in a while. I am talking almost a year). I even try to watch my favorite tv shows at night and enjoy my favorite snack.

I am grieving about not having the laidback life I used to have before the year 2010. My mom was active serving on boards, she knew people, we used to visit with a neighbor. We always looked forward to attending a Christmas party held by that same neighbor, or attend another Christmas party, volunteer to wrap presents. We had so much fun doing that, I used to tease my brother who was slower than me when it came to wrapping presents. I used to think that I was the one who did a bad job in wrapping presents. When I come home, I would look forward to playing my game, my brother watched tv; my mom was on the phone talking to family or a friend. Today, all of that is not happening it is too sad because there is so much going on, it is not just the fact I am grieving about those days. It is the current problems that is happening since 2010.

SW-User

[youtube=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4d-P9baha-w]@taLking5

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