I Battle Depression

Lately, I've been feeling like I want to disappear. Not die. Disappear. Cut ties with my friends. Erase myself from their minds, and just go. I hate myself for the jealousy and anger that rises in me when I see them having fun with others; without me. But you can't have fun with someone who's depressed. So it shouldn't surprise me that they seek others with whom they can have a good time. Still, I blew up today and told them everything I felt. The funny thing is, they don't want me completely gone from their lives. And they say they'll be there for me whenever I need them. But what I want is for them to let me go. I just want to be happy alone. I honestly feel that's what would be best for me in the long run. So I'm torn between what I want and what they want. It's not like they do anything to help with my depression. They just give me all the space they think I need and stay away until I magically feel better. So what difference would it make if this time I don't feel magically better and just continue to drift away? Will they chase me or finally let me go? I just want to be at peace with myself.

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LilyMae16 · 22-25, F

Cheer up.

Unicornrainbow · 31-35, F

It depression doesn't work like that

LilyMae16 · 22-25, F

It is if you want to.

YeuxNoirs · 31-35, F

Truth be told, no, it's not that easy. It's not a switch I can flip. It takes time to get back to being "happy". But, it's not impossible. It just takes time.

LilyMae16 · 22-25, F

It is easy. You just don't want to try being happy.

YeuxNoirs · 31-35, F

Again, respectfully, no, it's not. If you take the time to read about what depression is and how to overcome it you can understand it better. In a way, it's like a broken bone. You don't just go to the doctor, get it fixed, and wake up the next day completely fine. It takes time for the bone to heal, and for your body to be fine again. And telling a depressed person something like what you just said can actually be harmful. Again, I say this respectfully. I respect your opinion. But, if you really want to understand depression better, I encourage you to look into it and read more information. I'm not in danger of doing anything stupid, but someone else who is in a far darker place than me could have found your comment triggering. As stupid as this may sound, it's true. Still, thank you for your input.

LilyMae16 · 22-25, F

Being sad is all in your head. If you don't want it, do something about it.

YeuxNoirs · 31-35, F

People with Depression are Not Just “Sad”

"Just as cell growth is normal in a person, we call out of control cell growth an illness—we call it cancer. Depression is exactly the same. Depression is when a normal, human emotion gets out of control to the point where it is no longer normal. Considering someone with an illness merely to be “sad” is an insult to that person and minimizes an illness that takes thousands of lives every year. And we can’t afford to do that, lest the illness take one more. "

That's from an article that explains the difference between sadness and depression. I truly hope you can understand this. Have a good day/night.

LilyMae16 · 22-25, F

Stay boring then.

Haydon23 · 41-45, M

@LilyMae16: You need to grow up, bored are we so you thought you'd try and antagonise someone?
Unless you've experienced depression, you will never have any idea so lay off her.

LilyMae16 · 22-25, F

Didn't realise I was talking to you.